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Frustrated of an online date I wasn't interested in.. PLZ HELP

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by jackinthebox, May 19, 2013.

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  1. jackinthebox

    jackinthebox
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    Met this guy from an online dating site. He was nice but I didn't feel physical attraction to him. Also, he was a bit fem which is a turn-off for me. He asked me at the end of our first date about how I felt and if I'd like to meet him again. I, not wanting to be rude, smiled and said 'it was very nice, sure' and we parted ways..

    Next day I msgd him asking if he felt any spark or anything like we had discussed before the date and he said "i felt much more than that.. like i know u since ages.." So basically he liked me a lot.. Then I told him "I'm not really that interested and not looking for a relationship anyway".. to this he said "thats ok, would u like to be friends atleast, not the hi-hello type of friends (ive had enough of those) but a real friend, im really interested in knowing u.. I'd like to meet u often (not like once in 2 months) etc." Once again, not trying to be rude, I replied "sure, I'm always open to friendship.." but I wasn't really wanting to meet him..

    Now following this, he started messaging me everyday, sometimes a hi, sometimes a video clip, sometimes a chat, and I'd obv feel bad to not reply but I started getting uncomfortable after a while.. He would even ask me if I was free to go watch a movie here and there.. and I'd make up some excuses.. he would even ask me why do i give monosyllabic replies and don't chat with him much.. etc etc... I was getting really frustrated with this guy.. HE JUST WOULDN'T STOP MESSAGING ME.. LIKE EVERY DAY..!!

    I finally got so irritated I told him " I feel like I'm leading you on.. u keep msgn me I think u like me.. and I don't wanna hurt u so lets keep a distance pls" .. to this he replies "no pls believe me I'm just trying to be friends after u've cleared it up for me.."

    So at last I told him "I wasn't really on the site to make friends or anything.. to be honest".. so he replied "ah great u've said that now.. feel free to delete my number let's end this on a good note.." so i msgd "ok tc"

    Did I do the right thing? I'm so frustrated with this whole episode.. I just don't like being rude to ppl..
     
    #1 jackinthebox, May 19, 2013
  2. Willjarvis

    Willjarvis
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    I think you got it right in the end. It might seem rude to tell people flat out that you don't want anything to do with them, but it's kinder really. I've had plenty of non-friends just drift off and while I'm sure I'd have been upset if they told me how they felt, (indifference I assume, but I'll never know) I think it's better to know where one stands so that one can get over it and move on.

    It was his problem, not yours, but it was mostly up to you to solve it because you understood the situation better than he did. He thought you might like him, but you knew he liked you and you knew you didn't want him as a friend.
     
    #2 Willjarvis, May 19, 2013
  3. June Cleaver

    June Cleaver
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    I feel so sorry for you! :dry: June
     
    #3 June Cleaver, May 19, 2013
  4. Jared

    Jared
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    I met a guy like that on one of the apps and he drove me nuts, always wanted to talk/text/hang out even though I told him in very clear terms I didn't want a relationship with him or to be bffs with him.

    I think you did the right thing, it's better than dragging it out and leading him on more.
     
    #4 Jared, May 19, 2013
  5. jackinthebox

    jackinthebox
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    Why?
     
    #5 jackinthebox, May 20, 2013
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