Friendships with gay men vs Friendships with women

I wouldn't say I'm "into" women's fashion, I don't look at magazines or catalogues or anything, although if I do notice a lady wearing something that looks particularly nice, then I will compliment her on it. I do think its nice to acknowledge someone's good taste, as it can make their day a little bit brighter if a total stanger gives them a positive comment. You wouldn't bother picking something specific to wear if it didn't matter to you what you look like.

And what you wear can also be a form of expression. Your choice of clothing and accessories can affect the way you move and interact with other people and the environment you're in. A straight man might look at a woman and think "her tits and ass look nice in that dress" but a gay man is more likely to look beyond the tits and ass and notice the patterns and textures of the outfit and how she is sitting in it, and how she moves her arms while she's talking. To us, the outfit kind of tells a story and brings out certain aspects of her perosnality. Maybe that's why so many gay guys are obsessed with references to Disney Princesses and villains too.

 

That's fine, you can take up as much space as you like. My thread is your thread.

I understand what you're saying about those situations, and it emphasizes a point I've brought up about gay men not taking me as I am. My straight friends take me as I am, but put me with a a bunch of gay guys and I feel like I have to watch how I talk and move and react, and it's awkward and quite draining. You know what it reminds me of? Being in the closet. Having to go against my usual way of thinking and try hard to act normal and natural and blend in.

What's natural to me is that I'm not a loud person and I don't know how to come up with snappy comebacks. I'm not the life and soul of the party, and I'm ok with that. But a lot of gay guys aren't ok with that. They don't want someone in their group who is quiet and reserved. My straight friends are used to the fact that I take a while to warm up in a group situation, and I tend to avoid a big group discussion while seeking out one to one chats with individuals, and I tend to be one of the last men standing at the end of a night out because I've finally found the people who I do feel comfortable engaging with. Lots of gay men don't have the patience for someone like me.