I have a friend who Ive been friends with for 10 years. I came out to her as lesbian and since she’s treated me differently . I’ve voice to her my concern and said sorry. It’s funny because she said she was straight. People have always said she is gay and how she’s in love me. I deny it because i don’t think she straight and so has she. I even asked her and she said not true. Meanwhile she claims straight. Anyway she had been talking about this new dude new guy non stop
From what you’ve written, it doesn’t sound like she’s turned on you exactly. Unless she is being openly nasty or ignoring you or something along those lines? But, I do understand that any negative change in behaviour would be hurtful. I suppose that you and your friends can speculate all you like, but if she is gay or bisexual then it’s up to her to come to terms with that, come out, etc. How is her change in behaviour impacting your friendship with her? Could you have a discussion around that without mentioning what you or your friends think about her sexuality. You also seem quite interested in knowing whether or not she’s straight. Do you have feelings for her?
Hey that is tricky I think it could be something to nothing. I am not saying you are making up the feelings but I would imagine once you came out to her you were then sensitive to changes in her behaviour and that is only natural. I mean your friends could be completely right in that if she is struggling with her own sexuality then regardless of whether or not she has feelings for you she could find it hard that you came out to her and how she balances that with her inner turmoil. WHen you asked her you gave her the opportunity to let it all out but sometimes we are just not ready. Equally it is possible that she is straight and not lying about her own situation.
I'm of the same mind as @LostInDaydreams and @silverhalo: When you admit something very personal, even to a good friend, it can make you a lot more vulnerable to that person's behaviour--even make you think there's a change that isn't necessarily there. (Though in all fairness, it could be, too). As to your friend's orientation? I don't think there's anything to be gained from pressing her on the matter. If she isn't straight and still claiming it, she's not ready to come out. This is something that she has to do on her own, and in her own time. I'm guessing you have feelings for her too, which is likely making this situation harder (especially since she's been talking about a guy she likes). I know it can sting, and you have a right to feel your feelings. Just don't let those feelings put you in a position to say or do something you'll regret. I think all you can really do is be there for her and let her know you value her friendship. Maybe give her space if she needs it. Whatever happens, I hope things work out.
Not I have not read any of the reply posts. Yup this can happen. DO NOT be surprised. Labels, labels, labels, when are people going to discard labels. Go with what you FEEL. Yup could be denial. I'd say you cannot fix her situation. Go hunting somewhere else.
