Forever single

I can totally relate! I also came out in my late twenties/early thirties. I thought once I started dating women and was open to myself about what I really wanted that I would meet someone straight away, but so far I have not had much luck. Either I like them and they don't like me, or they like me and I don't like them. It is so nice to know that I am not alone! Sometimes it feels like everyone in the world has someone but me! I am quite happy on my own and especially now that I got a puppy, but I do look at people who have a special someone and really want to get married and have love like that in my life, and sometimes I wonder why it's not happening for me. But I think it is super hard for everyone and others who are in relationships aren't always happy in them. I keep telling myself to be patient and always look for new opportunities to meet someone, and it won't matter anymore that I used to be lonely when I meet the right person. Here's hoping it happens for all of us on here soon!!!

 

I feel you. I never went for dates actually, never looked for anyone, it always happened. 'Always' means twice. I outed myself early, in the elementary school, and even though I live in a highly homophobic country, were first pride parade passed up by lgbt people getting beaten up, still all my class mates were supportive, even later through life everyone who I've told was supportive.I had first gf when I was 16years old, we were on and off till my 22. After breaking up, I was single for 3years, and then happened another girl, spent 2years together with her, lived together, and few days ago I left. As I told her that was the last drop that spilled the cup, never ever again will I have someone else. She was agressive, and never wanted to work out the issues, she wanted a long distance relationship after 2years of a life together, I told her she can't get it, and I'm staying alone forever, not interested anymore into relationships and sh...t. Got fed up with people playing up our emotions, and feelings. Not worth it anymore. So....it is as you've said like a f...g curse.

 

Hi, I would say that I do not feel this way, like I will be alone for ever, I know it could be difficult, I spended +10 years with a girl who:
* keep the money of my job for hear
* punch me when I wanted to leave her
* then violate me, abuse me sexualy speaking
* she convince everyone that I was mad and I need medication
* she always looks nice to me when we were sorrunded by people but just at the time when everybody leave she stop talking to me
* she made me buy her a card
* marry her
* then pay for thr divorce

People asked me why did you stay for so long?
I respond: because I thoungh everything was normal, it was my first 3 girlfriend, the first sexual mate I ever had, I am currently on spychological threatment to stop of being afraid that she is outside the door of my apartment.

But you know what? I really believe that there is a girl out there, looking at the sky like I do, wishing to find someone just like me, someone who likes anime, who likes to sleep until can't continue, who likes to make holes in the sand when go to the beach, someone who looks big but its small in the inside, someone who looks rough but is sweet as a dona.

Believe I can't say is easy, I just say there is a thounsan of stars an planets out in the space some of them are just toxic, some of them are hot like hell!, but a few of the are just like our plannet or even better... in this world there are 7 billions of humans, is it imposible to find someone thst just fit with us? I think it mey be hard... like find a plannet with life, but look, we are in one, we are luky, no matter how you look at it.

There are days that I feel like I just wanted to die?, yes they are, when that happen I order a pizza and ice cream.

Lets the game continue;

 

Sorry about every typo, I made a lot of mistake here, really sorry, english isn't my mothers tonge and I realice of the after I post and read the comment for the trird time, really sorry about it.

 

Hey dont worry about the typos it is fine.

I am sorry you had such a horrible experience. I think these situations are far harder to leave when you are in them. I am sure there is a girl out there for you.

 

I've never been in a relationship in my life. The closest I've had to a long term relationship was with a guy I met up with 4 times, and he was only in the country for a few months for study.

And it doesn't bother me. People thought it was weird when I was single in my teens and twenties. Now I'm in my thirties and still haven't had a relationship. People are gonna think I'm weird no matter what I do. Even if I do meet the love of my life tomorrow just walking to the shops, I will still get people saying "why did you leave it so long to get a boyfriend?" as if a boyfriend is just something you order from Amazon.

I don't struggle with dates. If I have a first date with someone I'm very chatty, I'm not shy, I love a one to one conversation. A lot of them just don't contact me again, even if I do ask them if they want to meet up a second or third time. Whatever. I love my own company. I think I'm interesting, and if I make any changes to myself, I'll do it to please me, not someone who has made little or no effort to keep me coming back for more. There's no shame in being single.

 

DevilDave I am sooo glad to see I am not the only one in this situation!!

 

I relate to everything you are saying!! Just want to say you're not alone!!!

I realized I was gay later in life. I'm about to be 30 and have never been in a relationship ever. As you said, I also can't seem to feel anything for a stranger from a photo online!! I have friends, great career, travel, i'm happy with myself!! I feel very fulfilled in many areas; however, I get that SAME feeling!! When everyone around is with someone and you're on your own in a restaurant, or coffee shop or wherever, It gets tiring and painfully lonely. I just want someone to connect with, be intimate with and talk to sometimes. I feel very secure and love my own company. I don't NEED a partner, but sometimes, SOMETIMES it just hurts and would be nice to experience. I want to experience the collaboration of love. I want to get married, have kids or pets together, I want to see home in the eyes of a human. It's not a necessity, but It would be really nice, It's only human to feel this way and want this for your future.

It will happen though. I know it has to happen! For me, for you, and everyone else who feels stuck in this particular sea of hopelessness. You just have to believe. It's about timing and luck and you have to be patient. You MUST keep believing and not in a desperate way, but a confidant way. Just keep saying "They are coming, I know it. I must be patient and keep my heart open." I've found that it is important to have this mentality because it is SO EASY to get stuck in the "I will be alone forever" vicim of lovelessness spiral, but I've realized it does not serve you at all!! It will only cause more pain, there is no benefit to allowing these thoughts to fester.

In the meantime I have been working harder and harder on myself and reading a lot about love, friendship, communication, connection and just trying to have stronger and deeper relationships with people around me. My hope is that when I finally meet someone, I won't have to feel like I'm behind. I will be able to speak the language of love. For what I lack in experience I will makeup for with knowledge!! I will not expect it to go perfectly, but at least I will have an understanding of a healthy way to love because I have already been teaching myself to love family and friends and most especially myself.

I'm trying. I'm really trying. I know people say "You have to love yourself first" blah blah blah. I don't believe that is true; HOWEVER, this is not a terrible thing to do in the meantime. I don't believe anything happens for a reason, but you can find a reason for anything happening! You can ALWAYS find a benefit from any type of suffering. You can always find meaning for something if you search hard enough. So, I do NOT believe we were all meant for this experience! but we are blessed to have this opportunity! To learn security in yourself and independence. Take all the blessings you can from this situation until it is no longer your reality. When you finally meet someone, you can take your new blessings. Until then, keep doing your thing and be patient. Don't worry about it, they are on their way so keep your eyes peeled!

 

Another thing is I rarely feel jealous of couples these days. If I see a couple being affectionate in public, I don't think "oh I wish that was me..." it's more like "ugh, get a room". It's the same if I see couples bickering in public. Do that at home, don't subject everyone else to your personal drama.

Or if I see someone visiting their partner at work. I don't think "that's lovely he comes to visit you during lunch break" I think "why do you need to pester each other at work? You're gonna see each other after work any way, keep your work life and love life seperate."

And when I'm at a gig and there's a couple making out with each other in front of me I want to smash their heads together. Do that shit at the back instead of blocking other people's view with your tongue wrestling. If I had a partner and we were at a show together, I would not want him making eyes at me during the performance. We're here to see the artist who is only here for a couple of hours, then they won't return for another year or so. Let me make the most of this experience. We can stare at each other all day when we go home.

So yeah, I do seem pretty cold because I find couples irritating. If you're somebody who finds me attractive and you want to become one of those couples, then it's not gonna come easily with me!

 

Well I'm in prison now for actually committing violent acts against couples for snogging in front of me. Thanks for taking it so literally!

 

I have snogged people during live shows a few times, but those were at gay pride festivals, which normally have shit music playing any way. I didn't care that I was missing what was happening on stage. But when I pay to see an artist I like a lot, that's when I'm a snooty bitch.