I've been at this, am I gay thing for a time now, with all its caveats, anxiety, depression, uncertainty. So why is it (are you gay or not) so hard to figure out? Well one thing I've observed within me is, "my brain just doesn't tune in." It's like "my conscious" brain and my "am I gay" brain are on two different channels.
I struggled with the two different channel thing for awhile and loads of anxiety and depression- I was literally trembling and terrified coming to terms with being gay. It didn't happen overnight, and I had a lot of ups and downs, but the big shift for me occurred when I started to have romantic fantasies about guys and those made be very very happy. I realized it just wasn't about sex, I needed to intimate with a man physically and emotionally. I know I have a long way to go - I am just starting online dating now, but I have fully accepted myself as gay. I had lingering doubt because I still look at women but another poster had a good theory about that which makes total sense to me. What do you think is holding you back?