Hi, just so you knos this is going to be quite graphic. Me and my boyfriend decided that we wanted to take our relationship to the next level by having sex (only up to oral nothing else) and it was really enjoyable.The only problem is that I didnt orgasm. It took ages to get anywhere near and it just didnt happen. I dont know why, he is really attractive and I really like him. We had gone round to his house for a few hours before going out with some friends. His family went out and he said "do you want to try anything" almost instantly, I said only if he wanted to and he did so it happened. We closed the curtains and got undressed and under the covers. This was my first time ever but he had a boyfriend before me so took the lead. We started kissing and touching then progressed to oral. It was nice for me and him but after a long time I didnt feel anything happening. Eventually I said I was ready and just said I came when he did. We talked about it and he was verry understanding about the whole thing. Im not sure if its because it was my first time and I was overwhelmed and nervous or if it was something else like being in his house and not mine. I find him being dominant quite sexy but I think he held back because it was my first time. I told him about this and he said that he wouldnt next time now he knows. Did anyone else experience this when it was their first time? I have heare that it takes ages the first time and then becomes easier. Is there anything I can do to help us along before hand or do I just need to get used to it? Also we have only been together a week but I still felt ready as he is really amazing.
Do you find it difficult to orgasm while masturbating? Do you have any other problems during masturbation? If no, then it is very likely that you are just overthinking it. The first time is always weird for everyone, so you should become more comfortable (and, therefore, things will become easier) over time. Don't worry. Also, remember to always have condoms and lube with you. Even if you don't plan on having penetrative sex, it is best to be prepared.
First time is always going to be the worst time. You're nervous, scared, etc. and have no idea what to do. As you do it more it becomes a lot easier and more enjoyable. I had the same problem my first time. I didn't orgasm no matter how much I tried. It also didn't help matters that my first time having sex was almost a 3-some... =/
You said it was nice for both of you and that's the most important thing, right? When we load sex with allsorts of expectations it only increases worry and anxiety and makes it harder to enjoy it next time around. Bear in mind that oral suits some people more than others and no two people are the exactly the same when it comes to sex. Our sexual needs are fulfilled in different ways and the secret to finding out what works best and having good sex is to experiment and have open communication. If your boyfriend/partner does something that you enjoy, tell him about it. If he knows he is giving you pleasure he will do it all the more.
These are the important points. And they are all pointing in the good direction. Keep it up! (Pun intended.) Also, echo what Patrick said. I'm actually superfluous here on EC because he always says what I would say. Better.
To add to some thoughts already expressed - 1. Expectations and actual experiences for the first time are usually very different. You're just exploring something that will become a lifelong journey. This was only a very first step and for most people it's different than expected. 2. Relax, be in the moment, and communicate. Try not to worry or get stressed out, but rather just listen to your body, take in the sensations, and let your partner know what you like. Ask them what they like too. 3. Sometimes it takes time to learn how to be with a new partner. When you are accustomed to stimulating yourself in a very specific way your whole life, a new way will feel strange and probably not "right". For this reason a significant number of men cannot come from oral sex alone. I suggest giving it time and seeing how the experience evolves. Patrick
Thanks to everyone for the advice and for being so understanding. We tried again a few days ago when he was at my house and it was so much easier. Now, if im honest, we cant really help ourself. whenever we are allone in the house we end up having sex. We even tried it in the shower. Im not complaining just saying that its fine now. Thanks for everything.
