Hi there, my names George :smilewave and I've just joined EC. I mean that literally, today. So I apologize if I make any mistakes or am posting in the wrong area, but I could really use some advice and don't really have anywhere else to go. :help: I've known that I'm gay for a while know but am still yet to come out to anyone. I've tried to figure out how to word it to my closest friends & family, but I'm just not sure and am still waiting for the ideal time. But anyway, I think my issue is something pretty common and has been discussed here on EC before, but I'd love to hear thoughts from anyone! I'm 17 and am in my final year of school. I go to school with my best friend three times a week and am with him all day. We get along really well and have a lot in common. I became closer and closer to him until I realized I wanted to be with him. :bang: The thing is, he's pretty shy, so it's hard to tell whether he is straight or gay, because he/we never really discuss it. I know a lot of people say that telling a friend you want to be more than friends could ruin the relationship, but for me it's a little bit more complicated. You see, next school year it's looking like me and him will be split up. I'm going to college whilst he is debating whether to go to sixth form or come with me to college, and he only has a few weeks to decide. A part of me can't help but think that he might feel the same way, and would come to college with me if I explained that I didn't want us to be separated. I know telling him how I feel is risky, but I know that if I don't, we're not going to see each other again. I really want to tell him, I just don't know how. Should I tell one of my other close friends first, maybe ask them if they think this person is gay or straight? Should I go to my family? Or should I ask them to meet me right now and tell them how I feel? It's all I've been thinking about for the last month and is starting to drive me mad:tears: so if anyone could help me, in any way, I'd be forever grateful! Thanks for listening to me ramble (!) George :lol:
Hi George welcome to EC! If you fear that you will never see him again due to college and 6th form, then you might as well grab the opportunity now, and if he decline you, you shouldn't have to see each other that often, so it won't be that awkward. If he accepts you, then you have got as boyfriend! If he does go to your college, and you tell him how you feel, and he rejects, then it would be quite awkward, and potentially spoil a friendship. If he accepts,then again, you've got a boyfriend! I think that if he goes to your college, try to come out to him to start with, and try to make subtle hints that you like him. Try getting closer to him. If and when you do decide to tall him that you like him, be careful. Once again, if he goes to 6th form, grab the opportunity. Good Luck in whatever you do!
Thank you so much for replying! So far, it is looking as though he will go to Sixth Form, so like you said, I think it's time to be honest. Like you said, if he doesn't feel the same way and goes to sixth form, then at least it saves any awkwardness if we can't stay friends. But if he does, then - well - that would be wonderful. This was really motivating. Thanks again! -George
Hi George :welcome: to EC ride: Coming out to someone is something only you will know, when the time is right, I came out to some friends, who I knew were not homophobic & would be accepting, if you think your friend would be OK with you coming out then go for it, if he is not straight, then you coming out, may make him do the same & then you could tell him how you feel. I haven't came out to my family yet, I think they will be the hardest to tell, good luck with your journey
Thanks so much for your advice! I'm hoping to soon come out to my closer friends and my sister, who I am very close to, but family is a difficult one I am going to tell this person the next time we are alone together and, depending on how he reacts to me coming out, may tell him how I feel about him. Thanks again for your advice and welcoming me to EC. Good luck to you too! -George
