I went out with this girl for about a month and at first I was really crazy about her...but she eventually grew more and more distant. Growing more cold, etc. Until I wasn't really texting her that much at all. This Monday I texted her and she replied at first, but then I texted her if she wanted to hang out some time later that week, and let her choose the time and place and what to do because I knew she has a busy work schedule...and although it only took her a couple minutes to respond to my texts immediately beforehand, she never responded to this one. I am positive it sent, and judging from when she read the last texts I am nearly 100% sure she saw this text too. And although I think she is busy with work and stuff, I know that she also for some reason has time to spend time with her friends but has no time for me. Unless any of you have any different opinion, I think that the signals are pretty clear: she's lost interest. I have not attempted to try to contact her. I have thought about it and what I'm planning for right now is to not try anytime soon. Her behavior to me is like a de facto breakup, particularly the fact that she just flat-out didn't respond. There's a chance she could call me and make it official, but part of me doesn't think she would have the guts to do that and she's waiting for me to do it. But I'm not gonna do it...I'm just gonna do nothing, and if she calls, great, but if not I won't "officially" end it for her... Is this the right approach, or at least an acceptable approach? I mean, it just doesn't feel like we're going out anymore. What would you do? Please help me on this. The last few question topics I've had on here had literally zero responses, and tbh I kinda gave up on this site...but I really just need to clear my mind and really need a second opinion on this. Will clarify/add more context if needed. Thanks!
This statement right here is why you need to move on. It won't get better. Good luck with your future endeavors.
I dunno how much help I will be but.... Do you think you could talk to her about it one day when she's not as busy? Like talk about whether she's interested, and if you should break up or not. She's not responding though... If I were in that situation, I'd call and ask her straight up if she was interested and if she wanted to break up. yeah.. Good luck Yeah, the thing about the friends sounds like she is uninterested...
i agree, i think it's unfair on your part if she's making you feel you're more invested in this relationship than she is :/ but i don't think it would help playing that game of i-won't-do-anything-if-you-won't-do-anything-and-i-won't-call-if-you-won't-call... that little game of pride :lol: it might lead to you thinking she needs you more than you need him or her thinking the opposite.. and that wouldn't be a healthy relationship..thinking one's more important, and only one should make effort for it to work :/ both should take actions.. besides, you would also feel a bit upset if she actually wouldn't initiate texts or conversations (even if you deny it) it would unfair on her part too if you'd just make conclusions on your head without having a real talk with her.. (what if she's indeed busy and she's upset too that she couldn't make time for you, that'd feel bad ) so.. i agree with others, talk with her, think if you still want this relationship, tell her how you feel, ask her how she feels and maybe even confront her if she still wants this relationship too.. that way you'll have a chance to sort things out, or if you two decide out to end it, at least you can end it in a better way, have closure and even be good friends afterwards and not bitter strangers i must sound like a hypocrite saying those thing coz i haven't been in a relationship before :lol: but whatever.. good luck buddy (*hug*) (*hug*)
Thanks everyone. The more I look at the situation, she's obviously not interested anymore...and to be honest I'm not really interested anymore either. It would have been nice, but if she's too busy hanging out with her friends and work and not with me then it just doesn't seem worth it. I'm debating whether to call her or not and make the breakup "official", which is what a few of you suggested. I would kind of feel awkward about it because just her silence says so much. That feels like a breakup right there. So what would I say, if I did call her?
I know some of these people are talking about "what if she's busy too...", but this sounds like a classic case of "if I ignore them maybe they'll get the hint", especially since she has time to hang out with her friends. If somebody was interested in you they would make the time. I won't lie, I've been on both sides of this situation, and it's a shitty thing to do. Within the last few years I've been able to break that habit and let people know pretty early on whether or not I'm still interested, but some people (like this girl) haven't realized this yet. If you decide to contact her I'd say something along the lines of: "I'm taking your lack of contact with me to mean that you're not interested in me anymore. I wish you would have let me know earlier instead of leaving me hanging, but I get the hint. Thanks for your time and maybe we'll talk again some day." Sounds harsh, but should get the point across and open her eyes a little bit. Or if you don't want to be so harsh you can butter it up a little bit, but personally I wouldn't go that route.
hmm.. so you've decided to actually end it? well if she indeed has more time for her friends than you, then the post above is right [idk, maybe i just thought some girls actually love their boyfriends but has this misconception about "relationship roles" and plays hard-to-get, expecting guys to be more invested, which is obviously not right, but anyway..] and you're looking for a way to break up with her without hurting her? or break up in any way at all? you could actually tell her what the post above said.. harsh but it would do if you think she's been actually expecting a break up :lol: you can also be a bit more gentle or even do it the it's-not-you-it's-me way (it's too gentle though, i doubt people still believe this ) or you can just tell her "i think it would be better if we would just be friends" or you can ask her what she thinks relationship so she would do the break-up speech herself or maybe you can just ask "are we still dating?" idk really.. you know better of this girl and of your situation.. but good luck (*hug*) (*hug*)
Make it official you deserve better than this and it'll be good for your communication skills to make your feelings known Good luck
