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Finally stopped questioning. I'm facing my sexuality. Here I am!

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by ARKClosets, Jan 26, 2018.

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  1. ARKClosets

    ARKClosets
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Central Arkansas
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    As my username suggests, I live in Arkansas. I'm a college student and still live with my parents. I've been questioning my sexuality for thirteen years and have recently accepted it's who I am. I've accpeted it but I'm not sure that I'm comfortable with it. I've not told anyone that I'm gay. I'm thinking of seeing a therapist at my university, but I don't know if that's right for me. I'm also wondering if I should come out to my family. My parents are conservative Christians and I don't know how they'd react. I don't think they'd throw me out, but I'm pretty sure they wouldn't accept me for who I am. In fact, I'm fairly certain my mother would just think I'm confused. My family recently moved to the state and so I don't have any friends. I have acquaintances but no one that I'm comfortable sharing myself with. I left all my good friends behind when we moved. If I had the money, I'd move back home and be with my friends and away from my family. I feel it'd be easier to come out if I wasn't living with my parents. However, I don't have the means to support myself. I'm glad to be here so that I can talk to people, even if you're not here with me personally!

    BTW: I saw the trailer for Love, Simon and cried :/
     
    #1 ARKClosets, Jan 26, 2018
  2. SevnButton

    SevnButton
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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Welcome, ArkClosets! First, know that you're in a safe, supportive place here at Empty Closets. Then, remember that you're in the driver's seat of your own life. There's no obligation to make any quick decisions, so my suggestion is to take a breath, keep posting, be honest with yourself and get to know yourself.

    How do you feel if, in a safe place, you say to yourself, "I'm gay"?
     
    #2 SevnButton, Jan 26, 2018
  3. ARKClosets

    ARKClosets
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Central Arkansas
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Sometimes, I say it to myself while I’m driving. I just try to get used to saying it to myself. I feel strange saying it. I don’t know how to explain it.
     
    #3 ARKClosets, Jan 26, 2018
  4. SevnButton

    SevnButton
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    A few people
    The reason I asked was because when I first said it a long time ago, it felt good. I wonder how it was for other people?

    I just watched the "Love, Simon" trailer. I gotta see that movie.

    Hey, seeing a therapist at your university might be good because the therapist could probably point you to resources at the university. Seems worth a shot.
     
    #4 SevnButton, Jan 26, 2018
  5. Spartan 117

    Spartan 117
    Admin Team Full Member

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    Location:
    Isle of Wight, UK
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Wow, it sounds like you've been through a big upheaval moving state. :slight_smile: It's actually quite common to want a bit more independence before coming out to your family, take your time, there's no rush. It sounds like you'd like someone to talk to about your sexuality in a less terrifying setting :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: - I'm sure you will find new friends locally, but in the meantime we're more than happy to chat about how you're feeling! I think you'll find a lot of people here are in exactly the same boat.
     
    #5 Spartan 117, Jan 27, 2018
  6. Chip

    Chip
    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

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    Location:
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    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Welcome! Really glad you're here. I can imagine how challenging it must be for you, being unable to be your authentic self, and worrying about how your parents will handle it, especially when all of your friends are out-of-state.

    I think it might be wise to not tell your parents at this stage. Our experience is overwhelmingly that nearly all parents, even many who are conservative and Christian, eventually accept their children, but the intermediate difficulty as they are processing and accepting can be really stressful.

    Have you looked into whether there's a GSA or other LGBT group on campus? This might be one way to start. I do think seeing a counselor is a good idea, and most colleges have free or low-cost counseling for a limited number of sessions. This could open the door to making it a little bit more comfortable for you. In the meantime, talking about what's going on for you here at EC can be a really helpful way to begin to accept yourself and embrace the coming out process.

    And... I'm really looking forward to Love, Simon as well. :slight_smile:
     
    #6 Chip, Jan 27, 2018
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