I've been out to my family and wife for 2 years now. I'm ready to move on and expressed as such to my wife. I went ahead and filed for Divorce. Now here's my issues - even though we've cried and moving passed this. for two years. My wife is reluctance to discuss divorce and moving on. Even after I filed - she asked about reconciling three times. Again yesterday, she asked about going to a counselor to fix our marriage. I'm at a loss to what to tell her. I've told her that I want to live my life as a gay man and i want to divorce. I want to be kind to her but i don't feel like she's facing reality. I've left and want to be out and open. Any suggestion on how I can help my wife move on? or should I do anything? Maybe I shouldn't do anything at all - she'll have to face it herself. But it's hard because i'm taking on the guilt and shouldn't. I have been seeing a man for the past few months and pretty serious about each other. She does not know about him.
I think there might be some gain in visiting a counsellor with her, but not with the purpose of fixing your marriage. Counselling can help couples to part company, accept that it's over and move on in a sensible and mature way. In agreeing to counselling you can satisfy yourself that you have made every effort to bring your marriage to a close in a reasonable way, with facilitated conversations about the best way forward for both of you and that might help to lessen the feeling of guilt.
Hi @wvbear- Yeah, that's a difficult situation. It's heartening that you want to help your wife. I have no credentials or direct experience that justifies me giving you any advice. But from my life experience, I would suggest to you to be clear and be consistent with your wife. Be kind, but don't shy away from the truth. Best wishes to you, and to your wife. Hugs- =Sevn
Indeed you are at horns of dilemma. It is understandable that you want to help your wife make the adjustments needed to move while at the same time wanting to move on to a gay lifestyle. All you can do is be honest and don’t be dissuaded by her emotions. It’s natural that she wants to salvage the known, it human nature. However for you the only path to being the authentic you is to totally embrace being gay. Once you break free you will a whole new exciting life awaiting you as an openly gay man. Some how you two have to navigate those tricky waters so you can move on. Good luck to both of you.
