I've recently realized / accepted I'm a lesbian..at 43. I've always been more attracted to women than men. I've had more experiences with women than men, but for some reason, I never even identified as bi. I've been single (divorced) for a year and instead of thinking if a new relationship with a man, I realized I was looking for women to be my partner. Finally, about a month ago, I asked myself if I was gay. The answer the voices in my fave was "Duh!!!" Since then, I've started to really believe and understand I am. So much of my life makes sense now and I feel more free, happy and light than I ever have in my life. Now, I'm at a loss as to next steps. I'm not looking for a relationship, but would love to be able to talk to someone about theses relevatons. I don't have a lot of friends, because I usually fell in love/lust with them and broke it off to not face those feelings. Thanks for listening . It's nice to get this out.
Well, you can talk about it all here, for a start! Lots of people with similar stories. In real life, you could see if you have an LGBT resource centre near you for support services. And for social/fun stuff, check out meetup.com for LGBT/lesbian groups. There are all sorts from strictly social to athletic/sporting activities. Welcome to EC!
I'm still way too shy or insecure to really seek out others in real life. Part of me is trying to convince myself. Delusional, seeking attention, or looking for an excuse to not try to find a man. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I think I've been fighting my gay feelings so much and for so long, now my mind is defaulting to fight the other way. Like it's used to being locked in a battle and it diesnt care which side it is on. Crazy, right? I've looked up the local resource center, but it seems focused on teens and transgenders, which is great, but not my "category". Someone elsewhere suggested a therapist, and that's probably a good idea. I feel very alone right now. And while happy I'm being honest with myself, I'm still scared the brain battle will lead me back to emotional paralysis and unhappiness.
You could start with women only meetups. That's what I did. In my case, a couple of fitness ones. They aren't specifically lesbian groups but my gaydar :] tells me that some of the other participants must be. I'm there for the activity but it's also helping me get comfortable with how I feel about women just being around them.
Hey welcome to EC you are definitely not alone. EC is a fantastic easy to chat to other gay people and help you feel more comfortable with everything.
I'm not sure I have any gaydar! I didn't even realize I was gay! But I will check this out. That is a very comfortable first step.
Yes, I count my blessings that I am divorced. I realize now how much my sexual it affected both relationships and I out my kids through a lot of turmoil as a result. But, yes, being unattached now dies take a huge load off of my discovery.
