Feelings Getting Stronger

No advice, but you have my sympathy from someone else in the same boat.

Is it any particular guy or just the idea of it? For me it isn’t a particular girl I regularly think about, I have fantasies and it’s sometimes past flings, sometimes the ones that never happened, sometimes someone famous. I think it’s the idea of it in general that I crave so much.

 

Same. I think if I was with a woman I'd feel the same about guys.

 

Hi. I'm in the same situation but married even longer. The feelings don't go away but I try to keep myself focused on other things. I still haven't decided if I'll actually pursue being with a guy. But at this point I wouldn't pass it up if an opportunity arises.

 

Same sex attraction does not disappear by ignoring it. I found it just made that attraction more intense. The desire to be with another man started to consume my thoughts. Once I was intimate with another man it all became natural and normal and was no longer consumed with the idea. Homosexuality just became a part of who I am.

 

It has definitely consumed my thoughts more often. I had an opportunity to be with a guy years ago before I was married and I chickened out at the last minute. I think the regret of that contributes to it. That plus as the years go by I'm more and more certain of my sexuality. But I guess I'm just at the beginning of fully coming to terms with it and deciding to do something about it.

 

It seems to me that most people have a natural drive/need to be with another generally speaking, but from there it becomes complex and individual. Part of the function of our hormones is to push us to mate, and if we happen to be wired LBGQT, how that presents is going to be different to some degree.

While i think that repression and/or suppression can add to the intensity of our need, for me, it doesn't go away once i started exercising it. I.e., i think the desire to connect and bond romantically/sexually is a wonderful part of living. To me, it's a sort of survival appetite, like hunger and eating. We get hungry, we eat, and depending on what we eat, we are nourished, or we give ourselves heart disease. Sometimes it's fast food, others it's a seven course meal. But once we have eaten, our need is only temporarily sated, that need/desire is an ongoing part of living. i think our desire/need for intimacy is similar... and frankly, the "intensity" can make it all that much more satisfying when we meet the need.

 

This is where I’m at now- I found the longer I ignored the feelings the stronger they became. Last year I couldn’t stand it anymore and met a guy for my first experience. I instantly realized that this is what I needed and now have fully embraced my homosexuality

 

Many of us have been in exactly the same situation. Once the need to be intimate with another man takes over it like a fast moving train. After the first intimate relationship with another man takes place it is almost impossible to go back. Homosexuality just seems so natural, so fulfilling, so sensual and erotic once you allow yourself to experience it.

 

Reading this is so striking to me. So many of us (most, if not all) have been affected, and often conditioned by, culture that makes us feel bad, sick, sinful... anything but receptive and accepting about ourselves. So, we learn to play a role in order to be accepted by 'normal society,' conditioned to believe that is "natural." But if you are homosexual, "homosexuality" is "so natural."

Repressed need/desire is not absent, it's repressed.
Once one can no longer hide from their self, if they suppress who they are, it's still not absent, it's suppressed, but then it's sort of like taking a soda bottle and shaking it up. When it gets opened, it hits the ceiling... and yeah, there is no getting it back in the bottle. Why would you when you have a lifetime of thirst to slake?

 

100% truths for me! I am completely consumed by my feelings for men now- i thought at first it was just curiosity but now i realize it was my true feelings coming out

 

The more I let my gay feelings come out the gayer i feel- does that make sense?

 

It does to me. The more you exercise your freedom to be, the freer you are.

 

I believe that this is a normal reaction to finally allowing your same sex attraction to surface after years of repression. The feeling of freedom to admit your homosexuality is a high in and of itself. You begin to realize you can enjoy your homosexuality and it’s normal and natural to you. Continue to embrace exactly who you are. The only person that matters on this journey is you!

 

In my case, I came out to my wife about six months ago and it went really well. We agreed that I could go for tantra massages with a gay masseur whenever I felt the need for it. And I must admit that this is helping me a lot. I don’t go full on intimate with the gay masseur, even though sometimes I fantasize about it. But we do end up cuddling and that really is like putting me on a supercharger to refill my bi-battery. I go there every 1-2 months now. It’s like a pressure release valve for me. I always come back energized, relaxed and just in general more at peace with myself.
If you can find a real tantra masseur in your neighborhood I recommend it. I stress “real” cause there’s a lot of fake ones out there where it’s just a sex service which doesn’t meet my needs for intimacy with another man.
Hope this helps !

 

It’s like a wheel that goes faster and faster- I find i am over a threshold- just this morning I woke up thinking of guys very first thought

 

i wonder if it's reverse. That it's not that the feelings get stronger, but the suppression gets weaker, no longer makes sense, and what has always been simply has the freedom to present?