I feel like I've been going a bit crazy lately. I kind of feel like I don't even know who I am or what I'm doing with my life anymore. It's almost like I realized a couple years ago that I'm an adult now I don't have to be the person my parents and other people want or expect me to be. I know I'm still young, but early to mid 20s feels a bit late to be figuring out who I really am for myself for the first time instead of living for other people or living to avoid judgement. Sometimes I wonder if all the questioning I've been doing in regards to my sexual orientation and gender is just because of this weird identity crisis I've been having. I've been feeling a bit stuck lately. I went to college and graduated a few years ago. After I graduated I realized that I wasn't really sure if I actually cared about my major that much or if I really wanted to work in that field. Pretty bad time to realize that, I know lmao. I got a job someone fresh out of high school could do and eventually stopped applying for jobs in my field. Now its been a few years since I've even touched anything to do with my major so finding a job, even if I was sure I wanted to, might be a bit difficult. I'm still living with my parents, but hopefully I'll get my own place soon after much pressure and help from them. I've been feeling very overwhelmed lately when it comes to my future. I don't really look forward to it. I'm pretty scared and anxious about it. I have no idea what I'm doing or what I want to do. I feel stuck, it's the same thing basically every day. Wake up, go to work, go home and waste my time on the internet or playing video games until I go to bed, then repeat. Maybe about once a month or once every couple months some friends from high school will reach out and I'll do something with them. They're the only friends I have around here. I know I have to put effort in if I want to make a change, but for some reason I just don't, I could, but I don't. I'm alive, but I don't feel like I'm really living or in control of my life. I feel like an NPC in a video game that everyone else is playing. When it comes to my social life, even my "partner" is a friend of mine from high school, but they go to college in another state and I only get to see them for a few weeks out of the year. I miss them so much when they aren't around. They have even mentioned that they want me to move out there a few times. I'd love to be with them year round, but I feel so overwhelmed just thinking about moving into my own place in the same town where my parents live. I still feel very dependent on my parents and I don't want to move halfway across the country just to end up depending on my friend instead. I feel like I should get my own place closer to home and get used to living on my own and figure out what the hell I'm doing with my life before I make such a huge move. I just don't want to keep my friend waiting, nor do I want to wait too much longer. I miss them a lot, it almost hurts to know they are hundreds of miles away. I feel better when they are here even if we aren't together, it's just nice to know that they're close and I could go see them if I want to. I don't really know where to go from here. Even if I did I'm not sure I have the motivation to do it. I've just been feeling a little stuck lately, and I don't know where to begin. I don't have a support network IRL and I don't want to dump all my troubles on my partner, the only person that I trust enough to tell all this. I guess I just made this post because I felt like I needed to vent a little bit. Thanks for listening if you actually read all of this.
Coming from someone who is in the same position and age range as you I understand what you’re going through. It’s a very difficult path to navigate. So my advice would be to slow down, take a deep breath, and do one thing at a time. I hope this advice helps.
t is never too late to be figuring it out. I figured it for sure i my 70’s. You’ve got time I can only dream of. Be patient with yourself - your good.
Considering a future one needs to contemplate what really makes you happy. And I mean "really" .. its a mistake many of us made going through our 20s , 30s .. 40's ..... anyway .. stuck in our ways... hiding .... would taking a leap of faith, changing the narrative, be such a bad thing? What I am trying to say is.. would pursuing a life with your partner be an option? Could a change not only allow you to go in a different direction, but also maybe open some doors previously not available too you? Maybe think about it ... way it up .... what's the pro's and con's. As said, you can find your self at any age... maybe its your time.
O yes... venting.. forgot about that one. Its good that you do, get it out of your system...it allows you to work through your thoughts and feelings, and allows you too come to grips with everything.
Are you me? Just kidding but seriously this is me right now. Living at home, just quit a job that I wasn’t even fully aware was sucking the life out of me, and am in the process of trying to move to a different state for grad school. Oh and I can’t drive and don’t own a car and I’m 26. It’s very frustrating how I look around and everyone my age seems to have figured things out, meanwhile I feel like I’ve accomplished nothing in my life. So I know how you feel.
Sounds like you’re really overwhelmed right! Curious, what has worked for you in the past when you felt this way?
