It's been a little while since I've visited EC as life has been hectic, but tonight I'm deep in my feelings and not in a great place; I just need to vent. This weekend I went on a trip with some friends for a challenge event. My fiance was not able to come, but the challenge required us to upload things to an app which she could see. There was a challenge to "lick icing off someone's face" so we did it. She saw it and wasn't very happy about it; I apologized and recognized her feelings about it. But I'm feeling super guilty because she and I haven't had much time together, but I went and spent the weekend with my friends several hours away. This trip has been in the works/planned for a while and I had already paid, so I couldn't back out last minute. I got home and saw her today and she just seemed a little distant. I asked if she was okay, if she was upset, etc. and she said she was just tired. I don't know if I'm being paranoid because I'm and extreme overthinker (going to a counselor/therapy/meds to manage that and my anxiety), or if she's still upset about the challenge, or if she's upset that I left for the weekend even though we've barely spent time together. I don't know if I'm just over thinking everything? Literally just having a night sitting in silence and periodically crying, and I don't really know why.
Since I'm no therapist, I cannot tell you why you are feeling the way you feel, might be a number of reasons, I suggest you talk to someone about your feelings, maybe even a therapist. In regards to your fiancé, I don't think what you did was that awful, and you already apologized. My suggestion is that you open up to her, let her know what you are feeling, and do something nice for her, like a gift or a surprise, something to let her know how much she means to you.
Thank you for your response!! I was seeing a counselor at my school (provided for free), but she recently left, and unfortunately I'm not a fan of the new counselor that we have. I may look into finding someone else though because it really did help me to have someone. We ended up going out to dinner last night and had a good time. I think we were both just really stressed about other things and weren't communicating efficiently.
@taken The 'I'm Tired' is the line I use when I am upset/hurt. Talk to her and so she can open up with you about her feelings.