Hello! This post is not really asking advice or anything, just a little self reflection and I just need to let my thoughts out a bit more and maybe just vent a bit. So I decided to write a letter to my parents explaining what is going on with me and it’s not that I’m planning on giving them this letter just yet. I only prepared it for now to give to them, when I’m ready. While writing this letter I got very emotional and even cried during writing it. It did make me feel lighter inside, but even just thinking about that letter makes me emotional all over again. I guess I am feeling guilty in front of my parents, since I feel that I already was such a dissapoitment to them and I have to let them down again. I know my fathers attitude towards homosexuality, but I don’t know how much does he know about trans people. First thing he problably thinks about is that maybe I like women, so that’s why I want to be male, so I included an explanation about that to the letter as well, so I wouldn’t have to come out twice, when the time comes. He has asked me before that I’m not lesbian, right? It was not asked in a good way, because his tone of voice wasn’t good, when he asked. He problably didn’t mean to sound like that, sometimes he says things withouth really thinking them trough. My family has always been trying to be supportive. I know that I shouldn’t feel like that and I’m not obligated in front of them, but they are still my family and I fear that this news is going to be so dramatic, that my parents and relatives won’t be able to get over this, in this life or the next life either. I know some family members who are open minded about these topics and about some I have no clue how they take it. I am even scared to tell to the family members who are open minded, because I don’t know how they would take the news about someone they are close with being trans and gay as well. Family is very important to me and I’m very close with them, so this makes my fear of rejection even worse. I only have the worst case scenarios in my head too. Sorry for the long ramble. I wasn’t even sure if I want to post this.