so my aunts, uncles, grandparents on both sides, cousins, and basically all my family except my parents are strict southern Baptist. I'm not out to my parents, but whenever I do come out, I don't want to lose my relationship with my other family when they find out. They are genuinely good people that just aren't educated on lgbtq issues. How do I keep the relationship when I know they will shut me out?
You can’t control them or their reaction. If they choose to shut you out, which I hope won’t happen, then they lose out on a relationship with you and commit an act that is disgusting and unethical towards their own blood. At the end of the day, all you can do is hope, pray, and wait. You can’t control them. You can’t control their reaction. You can’t control their perceptions of GLBT people or their level of openness to being educated on this issue. You have to prepare yourself for all options. At the end of the day, you can only control yourself. I’m sorry I don’t have anything more helpful to say. If I knew a way to make homophobic parents choose their children over their religion, I would have used it myself long ago. Take care of yourself. Make sure you have a good support system. Who knows, maybe you’ll be luckier than I was. Take care.
What Rin311 says is right. You can't control their reaction. The best thing in this situation would be for your parents to have your back, and to help educate the rest of your family and correct any misconceptions that you have. While they may have a negative reaction at first, with time they may come around. My mom's side of the family is devoted Catholic and I assumed that meant they would all kick me out when I came out about my sexuality and my wife. I waited until I was 24 and already engaged before I told any of them. We're not as close as we used to be but, in the end, it was fine. My mom, a deeply homophobic person, has come around a lot. Homophobia is often based on a lack of understanding that comes from never knowingly interacting with an LGBT person. Sometimes all it takes is a family member coming out for them to realize that an LGBT family member is still family.
Take your time, you don't have to come out now. I presume you are quite young. So enjoy life and explore your sexuality. If and when you meet someone who you are serious with and maybe even want to spend your life with, only then you think about telling them. When you get older, you will start seeing them as equals and not "older than", and things should be easier.
