Ok, so I’m a 53 year old man who has been in a heterosexual relationship for majority of his life until recently I have always had bi sexual tendencies but NEVER been able to move on the feelings Now I am single I want to start being the person I always have been with no restrictions. I am feeling really nervous as it is a massive change in my life. If I was to describe myself I would say a bi sexual side and have never been with another man sexually. Any words of advice and encouragement would be greatly appreciated as this is a very nervous time for me as I feel as though I’m stepping into the unknown at the latter stages of my life Thank you
So a couple things... Take it slow. You don't need to go from A to Z, women to men in a flash. Take small steps, reflect and evaluate. It's not a race. Journal. Open up a word document and write your thoughts down. Somehow putting things in text makes them more real and allows you to understand and cope with new feelings. A journal is a place that you can be brutally honest with yourself and bare your soul. Being able to read those honest words and feelings over and over will help you discover who you really are. This does wonders for me. Share. This site is a great place to find community and understanding. We know many of the things you are going through. Many of us have come out late in life and understand how scary it can be. This is a safe space and free of hurtful judgement. Lastly, consider reaching out to a therapist. Most of us are in therapy (me too). There are many kinds of therapy and therapists. It does not all have to be deep psychoanalysis. Sometimes it's just good to be able to open yourself up to someone face to face who knows the right way to respond. I hope this helps. Sending you love.
Hi Dave100, I’m glad you’re finally in a position where you can explore that aspect of yourself. Like you, I’ve been in a heterosexual relationship for most of my life. I agree with many of the sentiments here. Don’t rush it. It’s not a race. And, if you’re feeling pressured to get involved quickly, then I would encourage you to look at that further. Is there a reason you feel pressured, from a time perspective? As someone who has had experiences with multiple guys, I can say that the best one was when we were on an equal playing field. Being sure of your intentions and your desires will make that more likely. So, get out there. Be social. I’ve found that the core aspects of homosexual exchanges is rarely that different than heterosexual ones. People are people. Mechanics might be different and there’s no need to rush sexual encounters. I’d explore some of the gay scenes in places nearby. Observe and have fun with it. That you are in a position where you can explore it, especially with the more modern, accepting, environment is awesome. Good luck,
