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EC age limit

Discussion in 'Empty Closets Help and Feedback' started by Stridenttube, Apr 4, 2014.

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  1. Stridenttube

    Stridenttube Guest

    A lot of graphic stuff seems to get posted on the forum lately. I was just curious at what is deemed appropriate and if certain explicit content should be reported since we have younger people on here. I think this was an issue a while back when the pg-13 tags were introduced.
     
    #1 Stridenttube, Apr 4, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 4, 2014
  2. Techno Kid

    Techno Kid
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    What kind of graphic content? Did I miss those threads? : 3

    I'm not sure if anything on here would be bad for a 13 year old. That's why you have to be 13 to join.
     
    #2 Techno Kid, Apr 4, 2014
  3. Stridenttube

    Stridenttube Guest

    Well, I've seen.things.get out of.hand in chit chat before.

    I guess its a site for dealing with sexuality so things are going to be a tad graphic. :lol:
     
    #3 Stridenttube, Apr 4, 2014
  4. BookDragon

    BookDragon
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    I have to agree there have been some...not so much graphic but you know...a couple of highly adult, I guess, threads in the last week or so...
     
    #4 BookDragon, Apr 4, 2014
  5. Nick07

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    I agree, I don't think EC is for 13 yo.
     
    #5 Nick07, Apr 4, 2014
  6. confusedinnh

    confusedinnh Guest

    The fact is that 13 year old's have sex.

    If I had a 13 year old that was LGBTQ, I would hope that they would find EC and be informed about things rather than learn on their own if they didn't come to me as their parent.

    A great majority of the population here at EC is between the ages of 13 and 17. I think EC is here more for them rather than people 18 and older. Also, I think a lot of them of good advice and good insight despite their young age.
     
    #6 confusedinnh, Apr 4, 2014
  7. Fallingdown7

    Fallingdown7 Guest

    I don't know, I don't think the sex talk here is necessarily inappropriate for a 13 year old. I mean it would be if there were pornographic images and literature here, but most of it is just advice. The thing is that sex ed starts around middle school (I don't think it's even much worse than what I was taught at public schools when I was 11), and a 13 year old really needs to know a lot about these things. I was 14 when my mom and I had a detailed talk on sex, and I'm grateful for it, because hiding it away can really harm someone's health at that age.

    I don't think we should hide graphic talks about sex just because of age. There's a lot of miscommunication about LGBT sexual issues, and it can cause a lot of harm to people of all ages who need the help and advice. There needs to be a safe and helpful place for LGBT members to find advice, as long as It's ONLY advice and not sex talk for the purpose of being lewd.
     
    #7 Fallingdown7, Apr 4, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 4, 2014
  8. Gen

    Gen
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    What is and is not acceptable would likely depend on the situation. I, myself, haven't noticed as much of an increase in inappropriate or borderline topics, but I have certainly not been active enough to monitor as much of the forum activity as I often did in the past recently.

    You are always welcome and very much encouraged to report posts or threads that you feel violate site conduct or even seem a bit on the border.
     
    #8 Gen, Apr 4, 2014
  9. BookDragon

    BookDragon
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    I think it's less to do with how graphic it is and more to do with HOW it comes up.

    I mean it's one thing to have a conversation about a graphic topic if someone asked for help about it, I just think it's kind of odd to see real advice next to a discussion about who does or does not take a load in the face!
     
    #9 BookDragon, Apr 4, 2014
  10. Fallingdown7

    Fallingdown7 Guest

    Okay, THAT topic was kind of too much, I agree.....
     
    #10 Fallingdown7, Apr 4, 2014
  11. setnyx

    setnyx
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    i've wondered about the age limit also. if i had a child of 13~18 i'd be more comfortable with some kind of thread restriction.
     
    #11 setnyx, Apr 4, 2014
  12. biggayguy

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    I think it's good to talk about sex without too many salacious details. If it gets to be like a letter to the porn forum then no. That would not be appropriate.
     
    #12 biggayguy, Apr 4, 2014
  13. thrnvlpidj

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    Seems like a lot of the teens know more about themselves and sex than some of the old fogeys here.
     
    #13 thrnvlpidj, Apr 4, 2014
  14. Kasey

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    No, I don't think 13 is an appropriate age to be on here either...
     
    #14 Kasey, Apr 4, 2014
  15. thedreamwatch

    thedreamwatch Guest

    13 year old people think about sex. 13 year old people have sex. Young teens need a safe place to talk about sex and (if things are still like they were when I was 13 years old) these younger people are the people on here who are unlikely to have anywhere else that's safe and helpful to talk about sex stuff.

    Even if it is 'graphic', it's at least a bunch of people talking about sex in a way that normalizes it and grounds it in reality. As opposed to learning everything you know about sex from porn or other kinds of media, which is just not cool.

    tl;dr Sex is fun and lots of people like to talk about it. I think it's good to have younger people see that kind of attitude in this kind of safe, anonymous space.
     
    #15 thedreamwatch, Apr 4, 2014
  16. Jinkies

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    I disagree. This is an LGBT support site, not a porn hub. 13 is the ripe age for kids nowadays to be victims of homophobia and transphobia. A lot of them are also seeing they're gay, bi, pan, or transgender around that age.

    I think if we want to deal with the more graphic posts, there could be a separate section for those.
     
    #16 Jinkies, Apr 4, 2014
    Last edited: Apr 4, 2014
  17. Chip

    Chip
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    The staff, admin team, and board have discussed this issue pretty extensively. It's a challenging topic, and I think the standards the staff uses are evolving as society and those who use the site evolve as well.

    While it can be somewhat shocking even for people in their mid-20s (let alone 40s or 50s) to see some of what's being discussed by 13 and 14 year olds, the reality is that, for better or worse, the Internet has created wide access to an ever-increasing and less restricted universe of content on nearly every conceivable topic. A recent study showed that an astonishing number of kids as young as 7 and 8 have seen hardcore pornography.

    So we've historically tried to balance the importance of accurate information against
    having too much discussion too early.

    We have typically allowed very graphic discussion of, say, masturbation, ejaculation, orgasm, and sexual practices as long as the posts are focused on sharing information, educating, reducing shame about sex, and encouraging a sex-positive (but responsible) attitude about sex and sexual practices.

    At the same time, we've also taken a pretty firm stance that "war stories" posts (unnecessarily graphic or detailed posts that could have the effect of being erotic or arousing) have no place here, so those sorts of threads or posts don't last long before being removed.

    The staff (and admins and board) have also pretty strongly rejected in the past the idea of creating age-restricted areas, for a couple of reasons:
    • One, if our focus is on support and education, most people at 13 or 14 are probably old enough to hear most of what's being said here, and, again, if we're about educating and helping to support shame resilience, then we should be treating everyone here with respect and assuming they are mature enough to handle the topics we're discussing;
    • Two, if we were to create age restrictions, we can reasonably assume people won't be honest about their age (how many underage people click past the "I'm 18" warnings to view porn), and the alternative -- requiring ID from every over-18 member -- would scare away a lot of closeted people, and, absent a bunch of other hurdles, would be easy enough to fake out as well.

    So while this isn't an infallible process, it works pretty well on the whole.

    As others have said, we do rely on reporting by everyone reading posts to help maintain the safety and standards of the community, so any time anyone sees anything they believe is too graphic, or doesn't fit within the guidelines I've described above, you should always feel free to report the post (the little triangle at the lower corner of the post) which will ensure the staff takes a look at it.
     
    #17 Chip, Apr 5, 2014
  18. TJ

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    This is a support site for people of all ages; people as young as EC can legally go without having mounds and mounds of paperwork.
    In my opinion, setting up any restrictions based on age is out of the question.
     
    #18 TJ, Apr 5, 2014
  19. Karabeara

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    The fact is that kids are looking up porn from the time they're 10. I don't think sex is something that should be hidden from the world and the more we try to the more they're going to seek answers on they're own. We all have a body and we're all going to have sex (well most of us). I have been masturbating since I was 6 so the things I've seen on EC are no where close to the things I've read on other websites. Take this from a 14 year old- there's nothing we haven't seen or heard on here that we haven't before. And honestly sex is a part of sexuality most 12 year olds are already having sexual thoughts and feeling excluded because they haven't had sex. So I think the 13 year olds of the world will be just fine reading this material. And for those who think the face pie thing was too much teenagers are going to wonder "is this normal?" " what if I don't feel comfortable but he wants me to?" They need knowledge not restrictions like it or not kids prepare for the future and sex by learning about it. It's adults jobs to be understanding and teach us not restrict us for being curious. And so what if they're getting off to it if they're masturbating then they're not having sex or getting pregnant (at that moment). If masturbation and sex weren't so frowned upon I bet we'd have a lot less teen pregnancies. Not talking about doesn't work!

    ---------- Post added 5th Apr 2014 at 12:55 AM ----------

    P.S. I haven't had sex because I feel comfortable with my body and respect myself enough not to have sex until I'm ready and have found someone I truly love.
     
    #19 Karabeara, Apr 5, 2014
    Last edited: Apr 5, 2014
  20. Gen

    Gen
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    Thirteen is most certainly not too young of an age for adolescents to begin learning about sex and sexual activity. There are many individuals who don't engage in sexual activity until their late teens and early twenties, but there is also a very large amount of youth who begin experimenting and becoming sexually active within or very closely after puberty.

    This is the age of technology; the average child of this decade receives a personal device with internet access in their preteen to early teenage years. EC does not tolerate poor sexual vulgarity, but the idea of shielding the mere topic of sex from the ears of these early teenagers is simply not applicable to modern society.
     
    #20 Gen, Apr 5, 2014
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