Hi There, I'm having a problem atm one that I thought I wouldn't and hopefully want have to think about for awhile. My current out status is no one just to fill you in. About a week ago I did this kind of 1 night youth group program where 8 guys from our (all boys) school went to an all girls school and spent a night of activities and dinner with 8 girls there. I did it for the social reasons because unstereotypically I actually have no female friends. I haven't asked anyone there out and no ones asked me out by I expect that it may come up because many people from the night hav ended up going out. This week were all gonna meet up and I'm pretty sure at least one girl out of the group likes me, but I don't like her that way though. I may be over-thinking it but even if the problem of being asked out doesn't come up soon i still need to know what I should do in the future. All the options I can think of now are. A: avoid talking one on one with the girl and ruining the friendship or B: If i'm asked out go on a date with them. I know the other option is being frank and coming out but i'm just not ready yet. It would be good if i could think of a better option than these. And stories/experiences would help. Thanks for reading it, Any advice would be great, Waitingsucks (Hugh)
Could you say you aren't interested in them in that way? You don't have to avoid talking to girls, I mean you could just be friends with her; straight guys dont' go for every girl they meet. She'll be sad about it, but it'll be better than leading her on with false hope.
OK, so, I don't have any stories or experience but I can give you a bit of advice if you like. If you enjoy this girls company and she asks you out, go out with her... as a friend! No one is asking you to leap on her and make mad passionate love to her! No seriously you can hang round with her and see whether there is a friendship there or not and worry about crossing the homosexual bridge when you come to it, but I think you can go out several times before a girl expects you to hold her hand or kiss her. Girls especially appreciate a bit of curtosy and consideration more than being lept upon and groped and IF and when the girls makes it clear she wants more you can simply say that you really like hanging out with her, her company, her humour... whatever but that you don't feel romanticly attracted to her. Well something like that! The second option is absolutely NOT an option. You have to come out when you are good and ready, not over a stupid story like this that probably won't mean anything because you don't like girls anyway!!! DON'T DO IT! This is your life, this is a very private thing about your life and it is for you and you alone to decide when you are ready and who you want to come out to. I would definately advise you NOT to come out to a virtual stranger who has no reason not to spread it around and talk about you behind your back. Whatever you decide I wish you lots of luck
Yea that's really good advice. probably should have though about it longer. but the thing is there is soo much pressure and i can't always say that. I know what to do now but what's some advice for the future.
Thanks for both of those. A lot of it was just thoughts i poured out i was hoping to think about it more later. And I would know more about this if i had good friends who were girls.
Hey... I'm a girl (well a bit old for a girl but anyway!!!) and I'll be your friend when you want! Advise for the future... cross that bridge when you come to it. However we might imagine a situation in the future it never really is how we imagined so there is not point worrying too much. PM me if/when you want 'girl/mum' advice. It is often easier to sort things out in your head if you have several inputs to give you another side of things.
I was confronted with a similar problem, and ended up coming out to her, because she was my friend, and I didn't want to hurt her. Every situation calls for a different solution though.
Well back in the day to avoid these situations I would tell them that I had a girlfriend or if they knew I didn't I would just say that I thought of them as more of a friend. You don't have to come out this way.
