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Don't want to be gay, need help

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by N7A, Sep 18, 2017.

  1. N7A

    N7A
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    I come from a very Catholic family and the idea of coming out to anyone terrifies me because I'm worried it will come back to them. My family is currently supporting me through college and without them I would have nothing. I've had thoughts about older guys for a while now but only recently have things become problematic. All of my straight friends are getting with girls and I'm feeling pressured, I don't know what to do, I'm depressed, I haven't been eating or sleeping as well as I should and I need help. Somebody please talk to me.
     
  2. N7A

    N7A
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    I feel like I've written this poorly and there's a lot more I want to say but I can't seem to pin the words down and it's plaguing my mind.
     
  3. BosiMalkia

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    Hello, how long have you been in college
     
  4. Angus44

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    Hi, I'm here to talk. Your situation seems really difficult. I would suggest talking with people on here (it's a great community). Also, I don't know the specifics of your situation, but if you're away at college there's quite a lot you can get away with without your family finding out. It sucks that we live in a world where we are afraid to express who we are, but the most important thing is to do what makes you happy however scary that might be. Feel free to write a long response if you just need to let it out, I don't mind reading :slight_smile:
     
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  5. N7A

    N7A
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    I'm a second year and I'm only in college an hour from home, where the majority of my friends are aswell. I plan on just leaving once I'm done but I don't know what to do in the meantime.
     
  6. Dylan1357

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    You should get out there forget about thinking about what other people think it's your life and if you don't take risks and make mistakes you won't learn. If your family really love you they won't care. If your in college your old enough to make your own life decisions right? :thumbsup:
     
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  7. Cinnamon Bunny

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    I'm in the closet as well because I live with my mother. I understand fully why you don't feel comfortable coming out in your situation. What helps me personally is formulating realistic goals and plans that I could do now or in the future. It gives me hope. You could look at dating or joining an lgbt group in another city. These thing don't require coming out publically in your school or home settings but gives you an outlet for being a gay person.

    Seeing an lgbt friendly therapist might be a good idea too. Please take care of yourself and be gentle with yourself.
     
    #7 Cinnamon Bunny, Sep 19, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2017
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  8. Chip

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    If you honestly believe your parents would cut off financial support, I would suggest it might be best, as difficult as it is, to stay in the closet for now, until college is done. The risk of losing financial support for college is a pretty big one, and that could really, very seriously impact your future, more than staying in the closet for a couple more years will.
     
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  9. N7A

    N7A
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    I guess I will just struggle through the next few years, then come out when I'm done or emigrated or something. It's just hard listening to the lgbt community being laughed at all the time especially when it consists of people like you who are taking time to help some idiot like me.
     
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  10. Umberson379

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    Aww don't put yourself down in a world like this~ I hope you succeed in your studies and find the resolve your looking for.
     
  11. Tanark

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    You aren't an idiot, man, and I'm sorry that you have to be in that position. I have a friend in the high school version of that, and she's determined to leave the country for college and cut off her family. I would say try to maybe date someone secretly or wait until after college, but if they don't accept you then they don't deserve you.
     
  12. Mysteria

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    Are you at a Catholic school? I would highly recommend therapy. Most schools have a counseling department that you can use. If not there is the county mental health, maybe local LGBT center, community clinics...Most likely any secular counselor is going to be sympathetic to your situation. I didn't look for a gay friendly counselor, I just came out to my current therapist and she has been a wonderful support.
    I'm sorry you're in this situation. Do you really think your parents would cut you off? Is their attitude towards LBGT hostile, or do they just simply not agree with it because of their beliefs.