Does profession matter to you when it comes to relationships?

I would tend to say it doesn't matter to me. But actually the two provisos you list make sense to me. I don't think I could be with someone who was obsessed with their job (I'm just not that career-oriented) nor do I think I could be with someone who can't seem to hold a job.

On a side note I can vouch for the whole dating a dancer thing. I dated a few back in the day (my husband's actually classically trained in ballet). They're bendy in all the right ways.

 

Career, personality and lifestyle heavily intersect in ways that mean it's foolish to pretend it doesn't matter. The sort of social and personal background that gives you access to certain high-intensity careers, or necessitates a paycheck-to-paycheck existence, is also probably going to be a factor of compatibility.

A person who treats a job as a way to fill the bank account is likely to be vastly different from a medical doctor who thinks about their career as the essential part of their life. Insofar as that is at least an indicator of personality type and lifestyle, it is valid and reasonable to consider profession in making a choice of partner. Someone whose social life is deeply intertwined with their work might make a disappointing, unforgivably absent or boring partner for someone to whom the two are almost mutually exclusive.

What that doesn't mean, however, is that you should exclude or prefer potential partners on the basis of profession, rather than on the basis of how you get along with them. Assortive mating pursued solely around the metric of prestige or income limits your happiness (as well as being a socially harmful form of economic exclusiveness). Profession relates closely to lifestyle compatibility but may not be determinative of it. For example, while more lawyers than baristas base their lives around their careers, there are dispassionate, laid-back lawyers and a handful of professional baristas are as passionate and devoted to their profession as a lawyer. You've just got to be flexible and accept that feelings could come from anywhere, with anyone.

 

I don't think it would make sense to come up with a list of professions to shop from--people don't really work that way. I think oftentimes people's vision of their profession, more so than their actual profession--says a lot about their vision of life, and of course if you are going to build a life with someone having similar, or at least complementary, visions of what that life should look like is going to be important. If you work 60, 70, 80 hours a week we're not going to be a match. I just don't envision my life that way--and it wouldn't really matter whether you spent those 80 hours as an attorney or a sculptor. We could be great friends perhaps and I might even very much admire your dedication to your craft--especially if you're the sculptor--but the chances of us cobbling together a life that satisfies both of us are slim.

On the other hand I don't think you can necessarily infer people's vision for their life from their profession. People in my field tend to be hyper-driven, very competitive, tend to really derive a good portion of their identity from their career and frankly a lot of them are sort of unscrupulous. Someone like that would be a terrible match for me--so the odds are slim I would end up with someone else in my field. But, well, I'm there--and I'm awesome, and oh so compatible with me. If you assumed you'd miss me altogether.

My advice would be to try not to think about people so much in terms of easily identified groups and just meet people. Some you'll click with, some you won't. And take it from there...

 

It matters to me to a degree. I don't think I have a "Holier than Thou" attitude, I don't care if he's a garbage man, plumber etc.

But for your two examples - miniumm wage doesn't bother me. But I like passion and believing in yourself that you can find something better. Sure work that minimum wage job, but how is it contributing to your resume and how long would you stay there before moving on? Don't think I could date a workaholic either.

Basically as long as he's not a pornstar (my heart couldn't handle it lmao), he's happy and surviving, and the job isn't radically below what I know he can do, I don't have too high of standards I don't think

 

I don't really care what job a person has - obviously it would be nice if they made a lot of money at it so we could both enjoy a higher standard of living, but I would never avoid a relationship with someone just because I didn't like their job or they didn't make enough.

The most important thing to me is that they're happy with their job, so they won't be upset and melancholy all the time dreading going to work the next day. I don't really mind workaholics (since I pretty much am one) as long as they know how to schedule their time efficiently so they have free time to spend together instead of having no time for anything except work.

 

Not at all.

I work in politics and my fiance is an engineer. It has made for some interesting discussions.

 

nah as long as she’s happy I’m good

 

In my case, I have spent about half my lifetime focused on technical aspects of painting and drawing that a lot of people find intensely boring. I would love to be able to share my life with someone who actually understands what it means to dedicate their life to a craft and be able to talk freely about it without feeling self-conscious. I don't think that means they have to be interested in the same things or do the same job, but it matters in so far as the need to communicate and be understood without feeling held back, which are the foundations of a healthy relationship.

 

Their profession doesn't matter to me, but how they conduct themselves in that profession does. I'd much rather be with an ethical and honest fast food employee than a rich but shady and backstabbing businessman.

 

Not really. I think the only way someone’s profession would bother me is if it took up all of their time or if they used their job as their identity.

 

I agree with Andrew

 

For some people yes. Any job you have will turn off some people. That's how its supposed to work.

You seem to think that you need the right combination of traits in order to get a boyfriend, but all it takes is for you to get comfortable with who you really are and focus on your life. You will meet the person who likes you for exactly who you are.

For example, I wouldn't date someone who would leave for months at a time, but for other people that would be either tolerable or even the perfect scenario for them.

For me, I work in the nonprofit field so I will never be super wealthy. That is a turn off for some people and that is okay. Some other people will like what I do and find it a turn on. That's how its supposed to work

 

All of them. Gay people are everywhere. If you go on a cruise as a job you will definitely meet tons of gay people

 

Why would it? Love is about love. I don't understand why people feel the need to drag their egos and other people's perceptions into relationships. If I was in love with someone who wasn't passionate about their job or found it hard to hold down a job I wouldn't hold that against them. In fact I would try to help them improve their situation (if they wanted help.) At the very least I would try and be supportive of them. Maybe I'm not ruthless enough.