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Does love grant automatic respect?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by brainwashed, Feb 1, 2020.

  1. brainwashed

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    I've been pondering this question for some time now. Does love grant automatic respect?
    I'm think so, but then is there a limit to how much respect you can give to another person?

    God Brainwashed, the questions you ponder sometimes.
     
    #1 brainwashed, Feb 1, 2020
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2020
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  2. alwaysforever

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    Love can certainly give people rose-colored glasses for a time. However, it's certainly possible to love someone who is not a good match, and to have to come to terms with that and make hard choices because of it. Respect can look like something different then. Sometimes letting people go so that they can live their life separately is an act of love and respect. Or willingly deciding to change behavior, for example, might be another example. Another way of thinking about it is that respect is the foundation upon which love sits, and without one there isn't the other.
     
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  3. olderwiser

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    I agree, without respect all the rest is not worth it. How can love even exist without respect? Is love even necessary? Showing respect to your partner, being there for them no matter what, being the best you can be for them, is this in truth the emotion called love? I feel it would be better to say, "I Respect You"
     
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  4. OnTheHighway

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    Loving ourselves first and foremost should help when it comes to self respect. The two go hand in hand.
     
  5. brainwashed

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    Love this phrase.

    Again good speak.

    Letting someone go and then live their life separately, well this never happened in my relationship with my mom. She wanted all the control and got it and then of curse all the kids blew up and failed.

    Again good speak.

    respect is the foundation upon which love sits. Bingo.
     
  6. mav96213

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    I agree with alwaysforever, respect is indeed the foundation to which love sits, and I'll add to that, respect is the solid earth which the foundation is sitting on that a supports a healthy relationship.

    Here's the thing, two people can have different opinions when it comes to respecting the other person. Someone can feel love for another, but in practice are actually NOT respecting them. This can be confusing, but if you think about individuals, everyone comes to the table having had a different upbringing and different life experiences, thus muddying the waters as to their own perspective about what is is to respect another person.

    Does that make sense? I've known people who "claim" to love and respect their significant other, but in practice/actions wasn't doing so (at least not what the other one defined as being respectful).
     
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  7. SevnButton

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    My take on this is that most everyone deserves respect. That doesn't mean I agree with everything a person thinks or does. It means I respect that person as entitled to make his or her choices, as long as those choices are not harmful to others. I don't see how meaningful love can exist without respect. In fact, I don't see how any relationship can succeed without respect.
     
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  8. mav96213

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    I agree SevnButton, 100 percent. You can always "agree to disagree" and everyone is entitled to their opinions. The key is to respect the other person and NOT "tear them down" if there is a disagreement. If real "love" is involved, it should be a natural reaction to "build up/bolster/support/entrust" each other. Sadly that isn't always the case...
     
    #8 mav96213, Feb 5, 2020
    Last edited: Feb 5, 2020
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  9. SevnButton

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    The hardest time to be respectful, and also the most important time, is during a disagreement. That's the best way to get to a resolution that's good for everyone. Put-downs and insults have no place in a good relationship of any kind. The really sad thing is when the put-downs are so automatic that the person saying them doesn't even recognize them as put-downs.
     
  10. mav96213

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    SevnButton: The really sad thing is when the put-downs are so automatic that the person saying them doesn't even recognize them as put-downs.

    Very true! Words can cause deep emotional pain...
     
  11. alwaysforever

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    What mav96213 stated is a good point. Respect means different things to different people. For a relationship to be healthy, both people have to recognize and respect the humanity of the other person. That means taking what someone else wants, feels, or expects into account as well as one's own needs. When blinded by our own needs and expectations, it's easy to undermine that foundation of respect. If that happens too often(and depending on the person, that may vary) the relationship will die.
     
  12. brainwashed

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    Bingo! If the person on the receiving end keeps his/her cool, then they get transparency into deep level(s) of the person(s) spewing the put-down. The put-down being the means to see deep, ever deep levels.

    Simple example:
    Look Jake those two fags over there are kissing.
    Well homophobic Sam is hurting inside, he is really gay himself and hates himself terribly.
    Pete who is walking next to Sam (& Jake) see's a deep level of Sam, that is if Pete has good observation skills, background info in many things gay and remains objective.
     
    #12 brainwashed, Feb 20, 2020
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2020