It does for me. Being that in reality many people are aggressive and hateful towards glbt people. While here you never see anything like that and it almost makes me feel safe and positive about coming out to people. Then I'm reminded of how different things are outside of this forum. In real life people get beaten up, raped or even killed for being gay every day. Even though it pains me being closeted, I actually don't feel safe at all being open about my sexuality. I guess, I'm sort of depressed about the whole thing and feeling trapped. Or maybe it's just my anxiety getting to me. I've been thinking more about these things lately. Being single I don't experience some of those unpleasant situations other gay people experience, like when you have a same sex partner and someone reacts badly to your relationship. I don't know how I would deal with those situations. It's nice to discuss gay related topics here and everyone is like "you want to be with a woman, that's totally fine" and outside of this forum people often are not nice at all about gay relationships. How am I going to fit into the real world living the lifestyle I want to live. If I had a girlfriend, would I even be able to hold her hand in public. Do you ever think about things like that? Or do you feel safe and comfortable being gay where you are?
I think about it, and no, I don't feel safe. But I live in a small redneck community, far away from the cities where they are more accepting. We just have to stay positive and push through. We have to remember that it's always getting a little better, even if in tiny parts. The world is so much better about this than it was years ago.
I honestly encounter more negative representations of gay people here than I do in real life. I'm fortunate I guess in that I live in a large city, but the fact of the matter is that both my partner and I come from areas of the US where one would assume one would find a great deal of homophobia--Oklahoma and Utah respectively--both of us came out over twenty years ago and neither of us encountered much homophobia at all even back then, after we came out. The good and the bad of it is that, in my experience, most people really just don't care as much as you think they will. I think it's fairly common for people to assume that the negative reaction will be much stronger than it actually is. Don't get me wrong, some people have a really bad time of it, but while I encounter a lot of gay people who encountered much less resistance than they I anticipated I encounter very few people where it was worse than they envisioned. Being gay doesn't make me feel uncomfortable or unsafe. Both my partner and I are completely open in pretty much all situations and I really don't recall the last time it made me feel uncomfortable.
Yeah, in reality its different. We're all dispersed, where as online we're all together. Its funny how when you make "friends" with people as soon as they know you're orientation everything changes, despite it doesn't affect them what so ever.
I feel my friends here are a secret.. Which is kinda cool coz I like secrets. But sad at the same time.
Honestly (and sadly) I have encountered more hate from within the LGBT community than I have from the straights. It can be very depressing at times and had caused me to retreat into myself and not get involved in the LGBT community for the longest time out of fear for ridicule and being ostracized (because of my looks mostly....got insulted a lot because of that)
Why did they insult you because of your looks ? ---------- Post added 12th Oct 2014 at 06:36 PM ---------- That's so true one of my friends ditched me and no longer talks to me the other she doesn't know I'm lesbian but she said nasty things about women like me . We don't talk anymore .
There is a prevalent stereotype within certain sectors of the LGBT community unfortunately....that if everything is not dialized perfection (perfect abs, completely body waxed ect....) that one is ugly and not worthy of attention or love. I know not everyone feels this way, but I encountered enough people in my journeys to make me a bit cautious (and caustic) about the situation and nature of attractiveness as a whole.
No, while Empty Closets is a wonderful place of lilacs and rainbows, I don't have any illusions. I know that some people in my own community want to kill me, and I feel exactly the same way about them.
Oh my goodness, yes, I agree with CandyKing. Alchemy I think you are adorable. But you all make me afraid to even test the waters. I never imagined I'd find cruelty in the LGBT community.
I've gotten dirty looks a few times because people assumed I was not lesbian because I was feminine , I also got the you don't belong here treatment . At first I didn't know that what it was but I realized after a while . I've seen your picture and your good looking so I think it's jealousy too .
I pass for straight all the time and hear what some people actually hear about it so this place can make it seem more accepting. But sometimes if you haven't heard many stories of acceptance it's beneficial to get some anecdotal evidence, so all the positivity on this forum isn't a bad thing.
i assume they all hate me, and queers, so i just assume no one accepts it internet will not change this
Not really. If anything, it makes me more curious, as to what everybody has going on, behind their eyes and words. I tend to perceive any potential stranger as potentially queer, in some manner or fashion, due to knowing how the closeting process is. Being here, is like being at a baseball game. Mostly baseball fans are going to be there. At a LGBT-XYZ forum, you're going to, mostly, have LGBT-XYZ folks. You can be more open and less cautious, here, in more ways, than you can offline in general. That might contribute to some distortion, but on a very minor level.
It doesn't because I post on another site (a political discussion site mainly) where at least 60% of the people there are vehemently opposed to homosexuality. It might not be the best site for me, I am realizing...
It does and at the same time doesn't.. I think being here is of course going to be different then the reality of the world because we are all people who are of the LGBT community or for supporters of the LGBT community so there is going to be bias here where as on other sites or out there in the real world, it isn't like that. I do feel very safe and protected here like I can say whatever my heart desires and I feel like being here allows me to touch those who are similar to me in a way I can't in real life. Although I know it is very accepting here in this site, I don't harbor illusions about what it can be like and often times is like in the real world.
I feel the same as Pret Allez. =) People on EC are very accepting, people in the area I live are accepting too, but I know how some people think of it here. So no, it doesn't distort my sense of reality.
I don't have any homophobia close to me in my life at the moment. But I'm more than well aware of how much the world sucks in general even though it doesn't physically reach me for the most part.