Do you Want to Get Married?

I'm already married so marrying someone else would be bigamy and that's illegal in Illinois. Maybe if I ever moved back to Utah...

I kid! I enjoy being married.

 

I used to, but not anymore.
I don’t think I’m cut out for it and I’m also atheist.

 

We did but it was small. We'd already been together for almost 18 years at that point so the blow out party seemed strange to us. Still it was lovely...

 

Having a wedding? Iffy.

Do I want to get married? 100%!

 

I haven't really thought about it yet

 

Definitely. Get married. Have kids, not sure yet on adoption vs. surrogacy or maybe even fostering. Live in a nice school district.

I'm only 21, but I've thought a lot about my future. Considering I've never even had a relationship, this stuff is clearly a ways away. But I'm a romantic at heart.

 

Hell no

 

For sure. I've always wanted to get married, and be a father.

 

I definitely want to have a romantic partner. And I’d like to think that “the one” will come along and sweep me off my feet into the sunset. But idk.

And I love children, so I’m sure it would be great having a kid or two. But, idk if I’d want to have one of my own when there are so many kids in the system that I could help.

But, I’m only 19 so what do I know?

 

To add on to my previous comment, since my window to edit closed, I've always wanted a traditional wedding (including a church ceremony), but that also depends upon how religious my potential spouse would be and also what she'd want. Just as long as it's traditional in the sense of a ceremony and reception, location isn't as important. However, I don't think I could do a courthouse wedding. That's just so informal to me.

 

Yes, but I honestly don't see a reason for marriage to exist other than for children or religious reasons. The whole point of it in modern times seems to be a way to contractually obligate people into staying together to create a family atmosphere for kids, and then punishing them for not doing that with court fees and splitting their possessions during a divorce. Other than that, what reason is there to become husband/wife instead of boyfriend/girlfriend?

 

It depends on what is meant by 'want.' Do I personally care about marriage? No, not really, but if I was in love with someone and they wanted to marry me I would be okay with it, but I would be doing more for them (because it's something they want) than for me.

 

Because you care about that person to want to be together with them for good.

And for tax purposes and insurance purposes, you know, the boring stuff. For example, my sister's fiancé will be getting much better health insurance coverage once they're married if they decide to go with my sister's insurance. Legal marriage just makes things a lot less complicated when it comes to legal matters.

The legal matters are the big thing, and why the legalization of gay marriage was so huge. You could be with your boyfriend/girlfriend 20+ years, live together, etc. and if you spontaneously dropped dead (and had no will stating specifics) then your boyfriend/girlfriend would have no legal claim to anything. Prior to gay marriage, a couple could live together for years and be married for all intents and purposes but without the legality, if something were to happen then they have no claim. The same thing with medical reasons. Technically your boyfriend/girlfriend isn't considered family, so if something were to happen to you, legally they wouldn't be able to be told anything by doctors.

Of course, this is all the boring stuff and the love aspect is nicer.

 

There are a lot of benefits that married couples have over single people:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rights_and_responsibilities_of_marriages_in_the_United_States

 

I've probably thought both yes and no at different times.

Right now, is a no time. Part of that is I guess just a feeling I like the freedom of being single. But, on a practical level, I see little chance of finding someone decent who'd be willing to marry me. Who'd want to be legally tied to someone is white trash, like me? There might be someone like that, but chances are he'd have serious problems of his own that I'd be well advised to steer clear of. I am reminded of a time around 1980 it was suggested Chrysler should merge with American Motors. Neither company was doing well at the time, and IIRC it was commented that merging two companies that were having problems would be a really, really, really bad idea. The same thinking, I think, can apply to people.

Although, while I may think I'm likely to stay single for the duration (and, for that matter, likely to have zero relationships of any kind), I suppose one never knows what might happen.

Indeed, this "never knows what might happen" is a very real truth for everyone. I think people often do imagine meeting Mr./Ms. Right, and getting married with, say, a big fancy wedding, complete with a fancy cake and lots of champagne. But reality can often end up being much different than imagined.

 

This probably sort of makes your point, but for me one of the main benefits, given that we already had a trust, had the house titled properly and all that, having already been together for 18 years, was that if one of us dies the other can inherit retirement assets without them going into required minimum distribution. It's really one of the only legal benefits that cannot be duplicated with enough money and lawyers. What can I say I'm a banker at heart, my husband's the romantic...

 

Past legal benefits, marriage probably has helped make same sex relationships seem more "legitimate" to straight people. Or so I'd speculate.

Years back, I read a piece written by some guy who married another man. Apparently, the wedding was the best thing that ever happened to him. There had been people who struggled to understand his relationship, I gather, but once it became a matter of a wedding, people suddenly understood better. They saw the wedding as the same thing they'd done, except for the fact that it was two men getting married.

 

I guess I just don't really see why changing your titles are needed for this. Like, that's really all marriage is. Changing the title from boyfriend to husband. That and making breaking up harder because it involves legal stuff which forces people to be less impulsive. You can still care about someone and be with them forever without changing the title.

The legal benefits are a valid point, but that's still just societal incentives to make people get married, which is part of the encouraging people to make a family atmosphere for kids thing I mentioned. The legal benefits could be expanded to any couple if people wanted to.