I hold grudges for a very long time and I can hold them against people who live in the same house as I over long periods of time and not even talk to them or acknowledge their existence at all... on the flip side however, it takes a lot for me to become angry.
It's hard to hold grudges against those you consider to be ants ^_^ But seriously, I'm terrible at holding grudges. I'm way too forgiving of people who I should probably be at least a little resentful towards.
No, when you do only you are hurt by it. The other person just goes on merrily about their business while the anger eats you up. It is much better to talk to them, letting them know how they have affected you and let them know they are forgiven. In most cases I have found they were completely clueless of the transgression. June
I'll put it to you this way. Only one person, that I believe has/had "wronged" me, has ever walked away without my getting retribution, and that is only because they moved away. I have, in the past, held grudges for as little as a few minutes to as long as several years. While I am much better about this nowadays... I'd be lying if I said that, if the one person that got away came back into my life, I wouldn't consider doing something anyway. Yeah, they pissed me off that bad, and it has been a good 10 years. I'm naturally a very vengeful person, but I have made significant progress, even if I do slip up sometimes. Holding onto a grudge is not only toxic, it gives up your power to another.
I used to hold grudges, but I find indifference to be just as effective and less exhausting. I forgive all the time, and when people overdo it I just let them go entirely. it's very passive.
I've got a bullshit detector, so most of the poor bastards who have tried will come back by themselves asking forgiveness or they'll fall soon without any intervention from my side. On the other hand... The most hurtful hit is the one that comes out of nowhere, taking you by surprise. So careful with that axe, Eugene...
Yep I agree with the quote above. Well that's not entirely true. Person x had a grudge against me but I didn't know it. Person x was not talking to me. I didn't know what was going on. I finally asked person x if they had something on their mind? A volcano erupted. Ya thats the way it should work. Interesting.
I can hold a grudge for a long time but basically I treat every person friendly and with respect no matter what they did to me.
I havent felt that intense anger towards anyone, but I think I have the tendency to hold grudges and be vengeful.
I do hold grudges a lot of grudges I have held. I tend to remember all the bad stuff people say and hold them to it. If you do too much well then bitch we ain't talking ever. That's my inner diva as well.
Here is more of a case of a person like in one of your classes who you are not social outside of that class who may have made a off comment not knowing how it affected you. Or work, church, wherever. in your case stated you were clueless until the volcano erupted and obviously you were closer to that person rather than a casual acquaintance. I have seen the worst hate, eat you up grudges among coworkers when one is clueless anything is wrong. In a professional office situation in my case many years ago I was a Executive Secretary to the owner of the company and was hated because I was hired in at a young age when the other women who some had worked there for 20+ years felt they deserved my job holding the most toxic grudges against me my first months there. Now I became friends with the whole family there in time because I took the time to be friendly and work the issues out with my coworkers. But a couple of them did their best to drive me to quit at first. I hope this example out of my life may give you a different perspective. Keep in mind I knew nobody there and was hated for being hired in a job they thought they should have been promoted to. I was clueless of what I did at first... June
I can hold a grudge. Generally however, I just let things go so you can imagine that the other person has done something so unforgivable for me to hold a grudge.
Haha, yes! My cousin insulted me like 10 years ago when we were 14 and I have not spoken to her since. She tried adding me as a friend online and I never accepted. :lol:
