Do I want a BF?

Humans are social creatures, most of us find having a partner to be desirable.

Finding it gross might be due to your background, possibly attempting to suppress what you have been told is wrong. If this continues to be a problem you might want to consider therapy.

Not being eager is a very good thing, being too eager is likely to get a person abused or taken advantage of. The guys that you chatted with? was this online? I have found that meeting people that way nets a very high percentage of con artists and abusers. It is fantastic that you were able to detect that the one person was cluster B, in my opinion detecting cluster B traits is an automatic deal breaker.

 

I also seem to be a magnet for such people, they are bad news, if you are actually able to tell that they are that type block them immediately.

 

That is very good news, it has taken me decades to realize that I need to avoid them. I just hope that I can detect them in the future.

 

Where in the UK do you live? I lived in London for about a decade. There are lots of opportunities to socially interact with other gay guys in major cities around the UK. Albiet this was all pre covid so not sure what the social situation is. When I lived there, I participated in a gay athletic program, I was involved in various charity organizations, I joined various LGBT social groups and used Meetup to find activities to meet people. I found participating in these activities gave me the ability to meet more like minded people than simply focusing on apps and online mediums. As time has gone on, I have found the people on apps to be suspect and have no further need to use them, although I do engage with other guys socially on social media groups that align with my interests.