7:02 PM (1 minute ago) to me I was arrested a year or so ago. I was trying to meet someone who was on a dating app. He was a minor who was supposedly in the closet and described himself as having no friends and shy about coming out. I asked him if he wanted to meet for dinner and he of course said yes. I was out of my element and trying to help him feel better about coming out. I said nothing sexual nor hinted about even going down that road. Well it turned out that it was a vigilante that was trying to catch pedophiles which I am definitely not. He turned me into the police and I got arrested. I had to go through the whole court process and eventually got acquitted. I lost my job in the process and the damage was done. It was in the news and online and I was painted as a pedophile. All of my friends and family supported me through the whole ordeal. I was only out to a few friends at the time but when the news hit I was outed to the world. At the time of the encounter I was confused and trying to connect with others in similar situations. Unfortunately I took the vigilantes bait and made the biggest mistake of my life. So I am trying to get my life back together and get a job. I don’t have a college degree and lost a pretty decent job. I have forgiven myself and been seeing a therapist ever since the whole thing started. So I ask the question. Do I deserve a second chance? I have gotten 3 jobs and had the chance to get other jobs only to get let go and not offered the jobs because of what I did. I have had suicidal thoughts and anxiety because of all of this and I’m still struggling to get my life back. I just don’t know where to turn anymore. Any advice would be appreciated, thanks.
I'm not familiar with that kind of stuff in the USA but yes, you do deserve a second change. Did you mean jobwise or life in general? If you where a full member I would chat with you if aren't comfortable writting openly some questions in this threads to support you better.
yeah, i'll talk about it. I guess job wise, and life a little. I do know I deserve a second chance at life.
If you were acquitted, I'm assuming you are not required to report your information/whereabouts on the registry either. Have you requested the arrest/charge files be sealed? If not, have an attorney do so immediately. Potential employers will never be able to access the arrest or the charge and then you will know you are not - not getting the job because of your past. Unfortunately when going through criminal process in the US court systems, people are not fully informed of their rights. Most people do not know just the arrest record is viewable to employers and others when searching, nor are they familiar with the process of sealing those records. It is not difficult to do and if you don't have the money to hire an attorney, you can go to the courthouse and speak with the Clerk to get the process started. Usually they will provide the forms, but if not, they will refer you to the proper agency in your county.
Thanks Weary, The arrest record is sealed and I will be able to completely have it expunged in about 7 months. It is still posted on the web though and that is nearly impossible to remove. I am trying to be positive but I have to admit I definitely have my bad days. The worst thing about this is that I know deep down in my heart that I am a great person. I am so friendly and caring. I am just so mad at myself for letting this happen. I feel like I am a product of not being accepted as gay and feeling I had to hide it for all those years and then finally when I did come out. I didn't get it right. I went down the wrong path.
@Billy the kid On the web - if official police site, you can show the expunge order and they are legally required to remove it. If news site etc, you can politely go to their main office or contact in writing to their legal department and ask for them to remove it or at the very least modify it to show all charges were dropped or found not guilty as the case may be. Most often their legal department will remove it because of defamation issues. If they choose not to that is a legal route you can take - defamation of character lawsuit but you should get an attorney if it goes that far.
I mean, you didn't do anything sexual nor did you have any intention of doing anything sexual, so yes, I believe you deserve a second chance. In case something like this happens in the future, my best recommendation would actually be to steer them to somewhere like here if someone is shy about their sexuality and want to be able to talk to people more. I've come across minors on apps before and even though I'm only a few years older I just flat out refuse to meet or anything. One guy continually made new accounts and I told him I would talk to him as a friend, but as soon as he tried to push it further, I reported his account and blocked him.
Thank you to Chierro, Weary and Fishtail, for responding and giving advice and support. I am glad that you are giving me positive feedback on my issue because that is what is helping me get through this low point in my life.
