Divorce first, out second?

Well I really don't want to scare you but you need to be prepared. I was the only one working so my ex was able to cry the blues and guess who paid the bulk of her legal fees as well? So she was able to string this thing along and say she didn't have a job and had no credit. I maxed out all of my credit and spent every penny that I had in savings. This is classic borderline behavior, you could become the target of ferocious hatred and vilification that you never thought possible. She's already shown the ability to be physically violent - emotionally she may have the propensity to be devastatingly violent.

All of this suggests to me that coming out should be something saved for later when you are emotionally able to grasp your new life and find who you really will be into the future. It's a wonderful process and it would be a shame to have it marred by someone who could take advantage of it in a very negative way.

It is important to note that statistically the wage-earner recovers in about 5 years, the non-wage earner never recovers.

OK I'm going to step away and let you find more positive reinforcement! (&&&) Good luck and don't hesitate to contact me if you have questions.

 

Just be aware that as soon as you utter those magic words "I want a divorce", everything changes. She no longer has any reason to be nice to you anymore.

Don't ask how I know.

 

Choirboy
Document her behaviour, esp. abuse. This is important.
Good luck