Hi there, I just wanted to know if anyone else has ever experienced dissociation / depersonalization / derealization as a cause of frequent gender dysphoria or depression. Feeling estranged from your own emotions or body, feeling like you're floating slightly outside of your body or that your senses are dulled or nonexistent, feeling as though you're in a defense-mode with another personality that is anxiety-induced to protect you, or feeling as though you're convinced the world around you is fake or a simulation. I've dealt with this before due to depression and heavy anxiety, though it's started to come back since I realized myself and when I think about gender a lot. It makes me hyper-analyze how I act and am perceived, and sometimes I get so upset that no matter how I *think* I'm expressing myself, no one else sees it that way, and then all of my emotions become numb and I sort of turn into a social-chameleon, taking on the traits of the first thing I/ person I deem as "safe" again. Sometimes I'm not sure if I feel this way because I get so worried about my gender and hyper-aware of how I am and it causes me to get overwhelmed and dissociate from myself, or if I just get depressed / anxious and dissociate which makes me question my gender and how people read me. Though, I guess either way it kind of comes back to me questioning my gender so.. I dunno. How do others deal with this? I think it could be because I'm scared to admit I might like using masculine pronouns to those in my real life relationships. I'm so worried about causing trouble or confrontation or "making a big deal" about my gender because I'm afraid people will just see me as a special snowflake or something... and also that I'm scared if I end up liking my male name / pronouns more I won't want to change back and just settle for being "okay" with my birthname and feminine or neutral pronouns... because then I'll feel even worse being called that all the time, as opposed to just indifferent / numb which is how I feel now.