[Discussion] Cutting a side of my family out of my life.

Hey guys - it's been a really hot minute since I've posted here. Used the forum a lot growing up in my teens, and got such amazing advice and support. Wish I had used more time to give back to the community, but my life wasn't in immaculate standing since leaving for college. I suppose I could post more of that soon, or give tips in regards to younger members who are just making the step towards university or whatnot.

This is long, so bare with me

-- backstory --

Anyways, I've been met with a dilemma. For a long time, my family have all known of me being gay and the reactions were all differing. The side of family in question is my mother's. My grandfather, when I came out, told me that he was an atheist and didn't find any moral issue with it aside from the fact that the idea of a dude kissing another dude made him uncomfortable. That's cool - that's something I can work with and I respected his honesty. My step-grandmother is an extremely abrasive, yet extremely liberal person who seems to have more of an issue with my existence rather than my sexuality. My uncle was much differing - he slowly but surely cut me out of his life. He is a 'good Christian' and doesn't want his children to be exposed to homosexuality. His wife shares similar views, but her and I have never been very close. My sexuality has ONLY been a topic of discussion with them in private, amongst adults, and that's just out of a very tolerant level of respect on my end. Anyways, I moved away to college to pursue my bachelors. While in college, I lost my mother (imprisoned) and my grandmother (aforementioned grandpas ex-wife) who passed on. This left me with my mother's side of the family and my father's parents - whom I've never been close to and have yet to have this specific conversation with. since 2016 I was in a relationship with a fairly abusive and toxic person. He wanted to rush it and I fell for it since I had just lost my home away form school and grades were dropping - I was in panic/survival mode. Fast forward about 2.5 years of being with someone whom I don't love and get constantly demeaned by, and I leave him, graduate, move back to my home city, and settle there for the sole purpose of being back around family. I've been here 7 months and have seen my grandfather 2 times. My uncle has not responded to any effort to communicate, even when I was checking on his well-being and letting him know I was praying for him when he found he had a bad case of skin cancer (found out through my brother). I wasn't invited to Thanksgiving, and was begrudgingly invited to Christmas. Which, after the events of today, I may not be attending.

-- today --

Sooo.. I never had any interest in having my toxic boyfriend around them. Hell, I barely wanted him around me. However, I'm not being invited to anything even now that I'm celibate and I'm about to move 4,000 miles from coastal Texas to Alaska. I was hoping to see them at least a couple times. My father called me last night and let me know my mother wrote him a letter, and that she belittled me and asked his opinion on my sexuality, of which she was not ok with. She's always said she didn't mind, but in this letter to my father she vehemently denigrated me for it. My dad, despite his many shortcomings with addiction and the law, has always been supportive of me. So he told me of her reservations and in light of this, and in light of the lies, I figured I may as well take this time while I was still in Texas to clarify my relationship with grandparents. I called my grandfather, and fairly blatantly asked him of his opinions on my life and the level of involvement he wished to keep, as well as if he had any information that would enlighten me on my uncle's issues with me.
He, basically, said that he was opposed to it and would only be ok if I introduced a future boyfriend, fiancé, spouse, etc. as a roommate or friend - and he told me that my uncle was not ok with me regardless of whatever my relationship status may be - even if I'm single.

As for right now... I took what he with a grain of salt. I found an excuse to get off the phone with him, shed my share of tears, and have thought about this relentlessly all day. I WILL NOT introduce someone whom I love, and wish to share my life with as a roommate or friend just because my family is too childish to accept this. Currently, I'm talking to an amazing guy, and if things work out, then I would never put him through that level of denigration and disrespect to our relationship. So, I've made the decision to no longer accept this half of my family as a part of my life. I haven't spoken to him again yet, but I won't be attending Christmas, I'll deliver the presents I got for my cousins via USPS, I will drink the nice bottle of Sassicaia I got for him and my step-grandmother in the comfort of my own home. Eventually, probably soon, I'll be having one of my final conversations with him.

TL;DR - my family is not accepting of who I am or who I choose to share my life with, and I will not be upholding a relationship with them any longer. I will update on conversation with father's side within the week.

Aside - Thank you all for reading, if you did or even if you skimmed. I needed to get this off my chest and don't much have anyone to talk to about it.