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Did your life turn out how you thought it would?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Andrew99, Sep 26, 2019.

  1. Andrew99

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    Did you ever make predictions about how your life would turn out and if so did any of them come true? What did and what didn’t?
     
  2. Lin1

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    My life is extremely far away from what I could have ever imagined it would be but it's a million time better!

    I have stopped making predictions because I always end up doing something very different each year and it's never what I would have initially thought I would be doing, yet it's always better.

    Assumptions I had made about how my life would turn out 10 years ago:

    - I am straight (Well...lol)
    - I don't need English because I will live in my home country and barely travel (I have been living abroad for the last 8 years and English is pretty much my main language at this point and I travel every couple weeks/months)
    - I will have a baby in my early 20's (I am in my early 20's but the thought of having a baby right now makes my skin crawl in horror!)

    My life seriously couldn't be more different than what I imagined. In my teens I dreaded the idea of potentially not being straight and was looking forward to having a kid pretty young, now being gay is the best thing that have happened to me and I couldn't dream of having a baby.

    I am seriously so so grateful for the life I currently live and so glad younger me was completely wrong about the type of life I was meant to live.

    I would hate to live the type of life I once pictured for myself!
     
  3. cjmiller

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    My life turned out exactly how I thought I wanted it but I just didn't know then it wasn't what I really wanted. I found a wonderful wife, have great children and others would say I am very successfully.

    What should of happened is I admitted to my self long ago who I was and never had to deny or hid. I'm now suffering with my true feeling and know once I tell the people I love I'm going to leave a wake of destruction to many lives.
     
  4. Kodo

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    When I was in highschool, around the time I joined this forum, I didn't really think I would make it this far. Honestly, I thought I would probably die before I reached 20. I was closeted, living with an extremely religious family, had no friends or support system, and was living with untreated mental health issues. I dreamed of going to college to study psychology. I hoped I would gain true friends. I wanted to move out of my family's house. I wanted to come out, transition, and be accepted as a gay man.

    Five years later, all of those things happened and more.

    I got out of my family's home. I moved away to college where I am now in my third year of studies. I came out publicly and transitioned (started T about 2 years ago and had top surgery this summer). I have friends who are closer and more supportive than my family ever has been. I am in treatment for my mental health and am the most stable I have been in years. And now, I am in a loving relationship with a man.

    So while it didn't turn out exactly like I figured - I would say it's been better than I ever hoped. As a kid I had very little hope for any kind of happy future for myself. All I could see was the years I would have to wait, the pain of being rejected, the daunting task of physically and socially transitioning. But it was okay. I was okay in the end. And I am so happy, so incredibly happy that I stayed strong as a teenager. Because if I had given up, I never would have met the people I have. I would never be so connected to my body. I would never have letters written to me from my mother - who was once afraid and confused by this - with my chosen name in her handwriting. It gets better.
     
  5. OGS

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    So much better. I really had a hard time imagining what my life as a gay man could be, so much so that I tried to kill myself my senior year in high school. That I would have the life I have, which in many respects is perfectly average, was frankly beyond my wildest dreams. My life is pretty normal. Husband, home, job, friends--nothing overly extravagant but we live very well. In many ways I'm grateful that I didn't think I'd have all of this. It makes me deeply grateful for a life that is frankly not that unusual.
     
  6. Benway

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    No, my life never really panned out for me. I'm almost 32, I don't know how to drive, don't have a job or any worthwhile schooling to speak of and I don't have a significant other. I suffer from Bipolar 1 disorder and it makes my life a living hell-- throughout my earlier years they thought I had ADHD, so they pumped me full of amphetamines, then one day I went crazy, wound up in the hospital and they took me off the stimulants I'd been on for almost 20 years. Now most of my days are about the same. I wake up early and feed the cats, worry about what's coming in the mail, obsess over little things, take my medications on time and browse the web.

    I thought it would be better than this. But it's only getting worse. My old doctor said I had something called "schizoid clusters," which to the best of my knowledge is an old school way of saying "schizoid personality disorder." People with that disorder don't go very far in life. I failed out of college, I failed as a son and a brother and I failed as a friend. My life is rather inconsequential, it probably would have been better if I had never been born. I tell this shit to my therapist and she says shit like "Well, do you wish you DIDN'T feel like that?" And I don't know how to respond to that. She's just a social worker. I can't afford a good therapist, anyway.

    Everything went downhill, and I fear I'll end up homeless or dead because I can barely take care of myself. My life is a mess. The best I can do is just ride it out until I die of a heart attack or a stroke, hopefully in my sleep. I just hope I never end up homeless. If I were to find out I was going to be homeless, I'd probably rob a bank so they could take me to jail and I'd have somewhere to be inside from the cold. I can't check myself into a mental hospital because that syphilitic madman Ronald Reagan closed them all down and even if I could, I can't afford one because my country doesn't have universal healthcare and is run by neo-conservative cryptofascists.
     
  7. Destin

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    Other than having a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend, and partying a lot less than before, honestly yeah it pretty much turned out the way I expected. That sounds so boring compared to everyone else's answers haha.
     
  8. LaurenSkye

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    Far from it. I thought I would be working in a large office building downtown Cincinnati. I thought I'd be married (to a woman) and possibly having kids (I'm not sure if kids were ever 100% in the plans).
     
  9. HM03

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    Honestly no.

    I always thought I'd go to school then immediately get a good job and move out. When I was youngish, it never occurred to me as I get older, so does everybody else and people die.

    I never dreamed of being as out as I am or having a few good friends like I do.
     
  10. BothWaysSecret

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    Not at all. I had a dream for my life that I would be married (or at least in a long term relationship) by now, just starting out as a professional animator, working my way up in the field to get a postion at Pixar or Disney. I also thought I was straight. The reality is that I'm still terribly single, bisexual, have stopped doing art/animation and work in a trophy shop. I like my job, but it's not at all what I expected for my life.

    It bothers me and doesn't at the same time. I know I can still work towards those goals, but I guess because things haven't happened how I expected them to they've sort of burst my fantasty bubble for an amazing dream life and brought me into a reality that my life is just okay.
     
  11. Ailena2493

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    Honestly no my entire life I spent devoted to books and school and my best friend .


    I never dated seriously until I was 19 , and after being seriously hurt by a guy both physically and sexually , I knew I was not attracted to men but I continued to date men in hopes it would simply “ come together , or marriage would happen “.


    I envisioned having kids and marrying a man despite my love for women, because o wanted a normal life and saw being Lesbian as a hard life .

    fast forward ,


    two failed engagements and a lot of miserable Hetero sex later , at 26, I met the love of my life , Kyra . We’ve only been dating three weeks but I already purposed to her and we have a wedding July 2020 . It will be a simple but elegant court house wedding .


    I’m happy and my fiancé is happy and I am wearing my moms engagement ring . I plan to buy my fiancé’s engagement ring this month , and formally purpose to her later this month .


    Never in all my life did I envision I’d marry a girl . Now I’m glad I went the route of dropping out of high school , dating all those boys , miserable heterosexual sex, and failed engagements .


    Because now , I am Engaged to my Soulmate, a woman . Both of us Lesbians . She is even taking me to my first pride parade next year ! I don’t regret a thing .
     
  12. gravechild

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    Between you and me? I thought I'd be in prison or dead before my twenties
     
  13. Andrew99

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    I would say in some ways I see my life how it shaped out and other ways it didn’t. Also there were some things I thought I wanted but once I got them, I realized I didn’t actually want them. So I have learned a lot. I would say the one thing is I thought by now I would have been in a relationship or at least been in a relationship at some point but that still hasn’t happened.
     
  14. Canterpiece

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    Nope.

    Expectation: That I'd be madly in love with some guy.

    Reality: Being a single lesbian.

    Expectation: I'd make some more headway with maths, and find support for my learning issues.

    Reality: Unfortunately not, despite many past efforts. I've taught myself some little tricks that make things a little easier. On the plus side though, I've learnt how to better improvise and prepare for other possibilities as a result. Whilst I do have some official documents showing that I am rather below average in certain areas, they are not enough to warrant accommodations. My issues make life irritating at certain moments, and I've definitely made a fool out of myself before because of them.

    Still, I've had practice with finding new ways to catch my own mistakes and remembering information that I might otherwise find difficult to memorise. It's not ideal, but I cope as best I can given the circumstances. Although, it is a shame that my University won't cover diagnosis costs or offer any kind of support. I've asked before, got passed around to different people, and then told that they can't help. Not exactly surprised at this point. At least I have some interesting / funny stories to tell about weird situations I've gotten myself into because of my difficulties.

    Expectation: That I'd have no self-confidence.

    Reality: It can go between the two extremes, sometimes levelling out to a healthy amount.

    Expectation: Being more socially skilled.

    Reality: Well, I'm certainly better than I was. However, I do have a tendency to annoy people by making the same mistakes (missing sarcasm, unintentionally sounding passive-aggressive, and misreading tone in general). A friend of mine recently yelled at me for this, telling me to learn this stuff already. I responded by yelling back "I'm trying!"

    Expectation: That I might potentially never be happy.

    Reality: My emotions have become rather predictable. To the point where I can often accurately predict when I'm going to feel a spike of happiness and when I'll experience feeling depressed. Not entirely sure what's going on there yet. Hopefully with therapy I can figure it out. I am fairly happy or content, but I do experience rather sudden quite low dips in my mood during certain months that go beyond mere sadness.
     
    #14 Canterpiece, Sep 30, 2019
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2019
  15. Cind Ace

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    I could say I did, I tend to overthink most of the time just a hard habit to break i guess when Im always anxious about things.
    Before when i was still in denial and closeted, I once predicted my life being stuck and be closeted my whole life as i look and see no hopes of any changes growing up in a difficult conservative society & country. Never in my wildest dream had i thought of me being so out like this now and free compared of how hard it was before.
    Though i fulfilled much of my parents dreams and achieved mine along the way but i know i felt it was never enough for me, there was a lot missing much in me & there I knew I realized while i was busy fulfilling things on what I had to, I almost forgot about my happiness. Looking back at all of what i did before, I keep remembering that I had a fair share of good things & more of stupid mistakes as well lol but it lead me here eventually ,that lead me of my happiness to be finally free and it is freakin liberating.
    I couldn’t have predicted it differently but i know what i did was most of the time were uncertain decisions but those hopes I’d been wishing before are now happening in front of me.
    I gave them my time ,made them proud then I went for internships abroad working for many years now, learning much on my own to be independent & make new friends new network of people and on those times in between i had been soul-searching too coz i know I had to be the only one to make the last call of what I should do in my life and not anybody else's influence, religion or principle.
    I predicted before that id be so confuse and lost and there i was i even brought it with me .I hit rock bottom and thought on being suicidal while i was away but then it hit me hard when I realized what I was feeling back then was only part of my journey to be a better person and it’s slowly cracked me opened to be true to myself first and to others to know who i really am and so I did and it came true I accepted that good or bad things will be drawn to us no matter what ,change happens only how we deal about it.
    So it might not be perfect predictions & certainly did not think once my life would turn out perfectly but I say i wouldn't have done it differently. It takes time ,it took a damn while but we all get there and Im happier where I am now & Im sure lofe does know how to surprise as anytime.
     
  16. Ten

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    I’m still in my early-20s so there’s a lot I haven’t done yet, but most of what I predicted would happen by now didn’t come true. It’s not a bad thing though. My goals in high school were unrealistic and naive. All I wanted to do was immediately move to California even though it wasn’t feasible. The only thing I wish I had predicted correctly is that I’d have a boyfriend by now.
     
  17. DecentOne

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    My career ideas when I entered college are nothing like what I’m doing now. That’s ok, it wasn’t until a couple years out of college that I finally discovered a career path I really like (and am still in).

    Where I have lived is nothing like what I imagined. I thought I’d be back where I grew up, or at least within a radius of there, but no, I’ve been many different states. That part is a little disappointing, not because other areas of the country are bad, but because I liked where I grew up and go back to visit. It is also part of why I’ve lost touch with close childhood friends, which I could never have imagined would be possible when I was in my teens or 20’s.

    My family life is much as I imagined it. I thought of myself married to a woman, being a dad, having a house, staying connected with extended families at holidays. Checked all the boxes on that one.

    My orientation isn’t what I imagined. After such a good long stint being heterosexual, the change to bisexual is a surprise. It isn’t interfering with career or where I live, nor is it a problem with my family, but my coming out is still too fresh and destabilizing for my wife.
     
  18. Austin

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    Nope. I didn’t expect myself to hate what I do so much. But it’s still in the process of turning out.
     
  19. SemiCharmedLife

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    Absolutely not. Never imagined I'd be openly gay, living in Kentucky, or working in a field unrelated to what I went to school for
     
  20. jaybirb

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    I'm so happy for you! Teen years are so rough, especially when you're trans... But I'm proud of you for sticking it out! Stories like yours prove that it really does get better, even if it takes a few years. :smile: