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Did I make a mistake?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Jules333, Feb 22, 2021.

  1. Jules333

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    I’m 14, and I just came out to my mom. She was supportive, but I’m scared I made a mistake. I know that I am bi but I’m worried she didn’t really take me seriously because I’m young and I’m scared I made things awkward. Advice...?
     
  2. QuietPeace

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    For now I would say just go with it, since her reaction was supportive I would say that you did not make a mistake. Had she reacted badly and started to preach at you or threaten to throw you out then I would wonder if it was a mistake.
     
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  3. Really

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    Hey there.

    Welcome to EC!

    First off, take a breath. Things will work out in the end. For now, keep in mind that this will be new to your mom and she may not know how to react right away. It most likely won’t be something she’s had on her “parenting list”, so to speak. You know - toilet training, first day of school, riding a bike, etc

    Having a discussion about sex, maybe but not sexuality unless she’s super enlightened. :} Anyway, you get the picture. This will be a bit of a curve ball to her but unless she had a truly bad reaction, try not to worry too much.

    I totally get how you’d be feeling awkward but give it a little time. Let her absorb this new information and if she doesn’t come back to you to discuss things, maybe use other things in your life to gently bring it up again. Maybe a show you watch together or something similar?

    You haven’t made a mistake. You’ve done a very brave thing. Give yourself credit. She’ll be fine. And so will you. :]
     
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  4. Chip

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    Hi, Jules.

    Welcome to EC!

    What you're feeling is what Brené Brown calls a "vulnerability hangover." It's when you share something vulnerable and then go "Oh shit, I probably shouldn't have shared that." It's normal and natural. But it sounds like your mom took it well. And maybe she does believe that you're too young to be sure but if so... who cares? She'll figure it out soon enough. The fact that it felt OK to tell her in itself says a lot about your relationship with her, and that's the important thing.
     
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  5. quebec

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    Jules.....Hello and a great big LGBTQ+ welcome to Empty Closets! :old_smile: I do not think you made a mistake coming out to your mom. I mean...WOW! she was supportive!! That is so very cool! :old_cool: That doesn't always happen and I am so very happy for you. There is no doubt that there are still going to be times when you and she will have to talk about what being part of the LGBTQ+ Family means for you and for your family. But you have already taken one of the BIG steps! There are a number of sub-forums here on EC...why don't you check them out and then feel free to join in the conversations! We will do our best to be a support and a place to vent when you need it! Please keep us updated on how things go for you...we do care! :old_big_grin: We are so glad that you have found us here on EC!
    .....David :gay_pride_flag: