So, I am 23 and I work with this 19 year old guy (we work at a large retail store). I've been with the company for one year now, and he started at our store about five months ago. For some reason, I've started thinking about this guy and I know that I'm developing feelings for him. He is the first guy in AGES that I have actually liked, as I've only been dating women for the last few years. This guy is cute, kind, respectful, mature for his age and is very intelligent. He lives out of home with a housemate, studies medical science at university and supports himself financially. I think his maturity is part of the reason I feel drawn to him. Yet, at the same time, I know he's still a teen. He seems nervous with me when we talk - he often approaches me to talk, but he appears so anxious. I just want to tell him to breathe! When we walk past each other, he catches my eye and smiles, then looks down. I'm starting to feel sexually attracted to him and I regularly catch myself checking him out (then I make myself stop). This is just all so strange to me because I have forgotten how to flirt with guys and I haven't felt romantically interested in a guy for so long. Plus, he's four years younger and could pretty much be my little brother. Ugh, I hate this. I don't know what to do. Is this weird? I know he's still a teenager!
Hey @rainy30 ! First of all, no, it's not weird. However, four year difference at your ages is still significant. Not that a relationship couldn't work. It's more that the two of you are at significantly different points of development in your lives. In this case, I would say that he is statistically far less likely to be interested in a serious, long-term relationship than you may be. And, if that is the case, you risk some serious emotional consequences if you commit yourself to pursuing a romantic relationship with him. Having said all of that, there are no fixed rules in the world of romance. I would ask, though, if you feel sure that he is gay, or at least bi, and might be open to a relationship with you...?
I'm not one to think something can't work just because of a certain age gap or where two people are in their life stages. If you like him and it seems that he likes you then get to know him better. Go to lunch or hang out and see what he's really like. Maybe you'll find out he's not as mature as he seems or maybe he'll be the one. For me I wouldn't automatically disregard someone because they're a teen or the same age as my dad.
