I just feel the need to share a story that I probably shouldn't feel so bad about, but it still hurts. I'm a girl and I met a girl through a local LGBT group on Facebook. She was looking for a relationship and made a post on the group. I liked the post and she added me to friends. Then we started texting. I found out that she has really interesting hobbies and wanted to get to know her better. She asked me if I just want to be friends or if I'm looking for something more. I said that we can meet and talk and see if it would possibly lead to something more. She suggested a meeting or a date, I don't know how to call this. It was supposed to be last week but I caught a cold so we postponed it. Then I texted her again when I recovered and we decided to meet again. When I asked her about the exact time today, she wrote that she doesn't really want to meet, because I'm not her type and since we didn't know what to talk about online, we might not know what to talk about in real life. I was really hurt by this because she could have told me earlier that she wasn't interested in me. Then I wouldn't have spent so much time making up scenarios of us starting a relationship together. I feel like perhaps it's my fault too, because I didn't know what to talk about. But the truth is that I rarely know how to talk to new people, one of the reasons for it is my social anxiety. Plus I think I'm more talkative in real life. We have some common interests so I'm sure we would have had something to talk about. Still, I appreciate her honesty. It's better that she told me she's not interested now, and not when we already met... Anyways, I feel that women might not be interested in me because I'm too feminine. I get unwanted attention from men, though - men I'm not interested in. Those are men I met through a language exchange app - I just wanted to practise languages with them, they seem to be more interested in starting a relationship with me. I find it really annoying. It's a bit ironic that I do get attention, but not from my preferred gender. I like being feminine but I don't like it that I look so "straight".
I now realize that writing that I'm too feminine for women to like me was a bit stupid because there are a lot of feminine bi girls and lesbians... I was just upset with what happened...
Hey @Aelin56 , that was an unfortunate situation but try not to dwell on it as an example of how all women/interactions will be. You sound like someone who’s interested in branching out (language lessons, lgbt group, etc) and this is very appealing. You’re not just stuck in your head. A good thing. :} Hang in there. You’re bound to meet more women and odds are one of them will be right for you. :]
Thank you, that was helpful. You're right that unfortunate situations happen but it's not how all interactions will be.
Hey, there's plenty of people out there. And you shouldn't let this change you. You've gotta just live through it. Emphasis on that "live" part... Go have some fun!
I'm sorry things didn't work out with this other girl. You're right--she could have told you sooner. I have to wonder if she was being honest, though; maybe initially she was interested, but got cold feet? Sometimes that happens, though it's no less hurtful, whatever her reasons. Funny enough (I learned this awhile ago) FB actually has a dating chat function as well. Perhaps you can make a dating profile via FB (that way you don't have to pay for premium, like with so many apps) and see if you catch the eye of anyone else. I know it can be really discouraging, and it's so much harder when you're something of a shy personality--but don't give up hope. You'll find someone. As to the men? Be straight forward with them, and if they persist, block them. Anyone who can't take "no" for an answer isn't worth your time.
