dealing with GF who cant stand up for herself or me

Well, at some point life she's going to have to deal with her family and their lack of acceptance. I have a friend who's bisexual and she doesn't stand up for herself either. She's so afraid of what her family will think of her, even though her sister suspects that she's gay.

If you want to have any kind of future with this girl, then she needs to make a stand. Because, it's difficult keeping certain aspects of your life secret, especially if you're talking about marriage. So, you really need to ask her if she's ever going to come out to them, that way you can make the best decision for yourself. If she continues to hide the relationship from her family, it's not going to do anyone any good. You're already feeling the affects of it and it's only going to get worse in the long run.

 

I completely understand where you're coming from, but I've had a really bad childhood so far cuz my parents are constantly calling me a disappointment... so I gotta say it may seem like she's not committed to you, but it can be really scary taking the chance to tell your parents and rejection can be crushing... personally I plan on never telling my parents... if she's not telling them then she's not embarrassed of you it's obvious that she's very committed... but she's freaked out by being hated by her own family... that's a REALLY horrible thing to feel... that's just my opinion and I am a gay guy so I may think differently than you and I definitely understand why you would feel the way you do... I kinda would have a different point of view so I would suggest you listen to pink lov3ly who probably has a lot more experience in a matter like this than I do.

 

i can understand not wanting to introduce you to certain relatives. it's just a matter of avoiding conflict, i wouldn't take it personally. if i was dating another girl at the moment i wouldn't introduce her to half of my family just because they're extreme christians and i don't feel like dealing with the conflict when i can just completely leave it be & stay happy. i doubt she stopped standing up for your relationship because she doesn't care, but more so because she's just tired of the conflict and doesn't want to hear people bitching about it. everyone has their own ways of dealing with things. that's probably how i'd handle it too.

breaking off the marriage is another story in itself though. i don't really see the reasoning behind that unless she's getting tired of the relationship. but that's a topic that you need to sit her down and discuss with her rather than venturing the opinions of EC.