Dating a transperson

Of course. In all honesty, I'm probably going to seek out another trans* lesbian to be with over a cisgendered one. Having us both understand what boundaries not to cross would make things much easier in a relationship. That and I doubt another trans* person would have any hang-ups about what I used to be. My ideal choice would be post-op; but I would date someone who is near the ending of their transition. Though I personally have no interest in dating until I'm post-op myself.

 

I wouldn't mind dating a MtF post or pre-op.

I'm attracted to feminine qualities regardless of biological sex, which is why I might clash dating a FtM.

 

Yes.

 

I would, but gender doesn't matter. It'd be nice, having someone who understands what I'm going through, someone with a similiar experience. That being said, as being trans* but pre everything, the idea of dating as I am- someone perceived as a feminine woman, definitely makes me anxious.

 

Yes I would date a transperson. If I really like the person and the feeling is mutual then why not? There would be challenges ahead, especially if the individual hasn't started or the currently going through the transition. If it does happen, it would be interesting to see what happens.

 

I like the person not the gender so yeah I guess I would

 

I wouldn't mind dating another trans woman. As long as she's smart, funny, and nerdy, I'd be totally into her. Doesn't matter to me what her op status is.

 

I have both bisexual attractions and genderqueer leanings, so why not?

 

My biggest beef with some of the reasons people give--not specifically in this thread--about not dating a trans person is that they're usually based on a stereotype rather than reality.

For instance, someone might say, "No, I wouldn't date a transgender person because they're all emotionally damaged and it's too hard in a relationship."

So you've met every trans person and have concluded that we're all emotionally damaged or crippled or distant? Really? I really doubt that. I'm not saying that there aren't emotionally inept transgender people out there. I'm sure there are. I'm just saying that we're not all that way. Offering a wide, sweeping generalization is not an acceptable answer.

Others might say, "I just don't want to date a trans person."

That's it. Now, this both is and is not acceptable. It is acceptable to have your own sexual preferences. What is not acceptable, though, is assuming you will never be attracted to a trans person. You may have already been and just didn't know the person was trans. There's an assumption going on in the background of this reason. This person may be assuming that all trans women just look like dudes in women's clothing and vice versa to trans men. This assumption is pretty offensive.

Now, if this answer revolves not by if you're attracted to them, but by what genitals they have, you may be justified. This is the part that sucks about being trans. I'm not going to sugar coat this: I have a penis. A girl may flirt with me and be interested, but if I tell her I'm pre-op trans, it might turn her off. Not because she's transphobic, but because she wants a vagina. As much as it sucks for me, there's nothing wrong with this. But at the same time, you're downgrading trans people to just genitals when you do this. We're not people.

 

I'm not sure if I made a post here yet, but yes I would and I have dated trans people before. If we have similar interests and chemistry, we're golden.

 

I went with "No". It's not out of a dislike for trans however, I've never physically met one. I think the fact that I'm mostly a bottom/malesub plays a pretty big role in why I'd date strictly cis-males and not FtM (although males too). Sort of a mix of body and personality preferences, I guess is how I would explain it.

 

A reason trans people might be upset by this is because they /are/ the gender they identify as. It can feel like you're invalidating them, and in a way you are since it's either stereotyped mental health or physical reasons. Yeah it's your choice whether or not you are comfortable going out with a trans person but don't get defensive when I point out why. It's kind of like saying you don't want to go out with a person based on their race... something completely out of their control.

Reguardless of your intentions it's still invalidating and it's why trying to justify it doesn't make it feel any better.

Trans people are different kinds of humans I guess so it's 'understandable'.

 

As a guy who's mostly a bottom, I don't really understand this. If the person is willing to penetrate you and has the right kind of personality for you, it doesn't seems like the person's body should be too much of a hangup as long as ze's healthy.

I'm by no means attacking you, I just think it's interesting.

 

I would date a transman or transwoman, seeing as I could't care less what's in their pants. That said, if the transman preferred filling a strictly dominant role in the relationship, I wouldn't be comfortable (I'm not sub in the least).

 

I think I voted on this earlier... not voted but added my opinion.
I can say now that yes I would date a trans person. I met a trans woman tonight that i was so fascinated by, she was by far the most intelligent, interesting person id ever met. Id count myself mad lucky if she would date me.

 

I figured that question would probably come up, but it was too late to edit the post.

It's a bit more complicated than the reason I posted, which I'm having trouble finding a way to express in a coherent way.

For one, I have major trust issues and I only find a certain level of safety or comfort with a limited group of people. I'm also a little into the whole "submission" thing (not in terms of top/bottom, but nearing BDSM, a.k.a malesub in my case), and my attraction is geared more toward a figure of (projected) "Power" and to some extent dominant. Which is not to say that I'm closing off FtM entirely even though I voted "No", but I've never seen one even in images that I thought I could let him be maledom. Even most cis-males I wouldn't let them be maledom, top at best for normal sex, but not maledom.

Not sure if it makes any sense. It makes perfect sense in my head though, and I know I have some issues. :lol:

 

I don't want to be negative, but I think that lots of people who say they'd be OK with it wouldn't be.

 

What about him? He's a transman. I'm not attacking you either, I'm just wondering.

 

I marked other because if I'm being perfectly honest I'm not 100% sure. I have nothing against transpeople, but there are a lot of boundaries many trans people have that I don't know if I could keep. If I fell in love with the person I don't think it would matter, but I don't think I could be sure until I was in the situation.

 

(Don't worry about whether I take anything personally or not. It's been ages since I've took anything personally. Hell, I was arguing pretty heavily a few weeks ago with a bigot who was pretty "open" about his views against homosexuality and I was having fun debating him.)

You had to pick someone with a mask, lot of tattoos and piercing :s Even if he was cis, it's a total turn-off. I don't mind a few tattoos, but too much and the person appears "insecure" to me. Mask is a major turn-off, it's creepy. Piercing I can tolerate in of itself if it's not excessive and relatively small. Forget those people with those large ears you can pass a bottle of wine through...I'd put a locker on their ear and run away with the key if I could.

Here's something closer to the type of person I would let be maledom. I'd feel safe with someone like that. Of course they don't need to be exactly that, but I do like them a little large and muscular.