Hey all, so I just wanted some possible tips from people if you have any ideas about my situation. So this girl asked me if I want to get dinner. She was my chem lab partner last semester, and I like talking to her, so I said yeah. My question is now, should I some point tell her that I'm gay. I'm not out, and if she's interested in me romantically, I don't want to lead her on. Obviously I shouldn't take assumptions, but I'm pretty bad about being able to tell whether a girl likes me or not, so I thought I would seek advice as to whether I should say anything at all.
I would say it depends on if you are ready to tell her that you are gay. If you're not ready to come out, you can simply say that you are not interested in having a relationship right now. And that's if she is even viewing this get-together as a date at all to begin with. She could just be interested in friendship? You'll just have to gauge how it feels and then you'll know whether or not it is necessary to tell her if that is what you want to do.
I don't like how vague people can be when asking someone on a date. I was asked to "hang out" by one of my previous co-workers (a guy). I was already out to my family and some people at that point and replied "sure" along with "just so you know, I'm a lesbian" and it turns out he was asking me to lunch for a date with a simple "hang out" and was disappointed but I was glad to have prefaced my sexuality regardless. I would let her know. Just so things aren't ever awkward because it would be more awkward to tell her on the "date" than beforehand. Either way. But I've been working on my confidence and opening up to people my whole life because I am constantly trying to prove myself to others because my default is not to do so. Soooo if you're totally uncomfortable with telling her, then don't let me tell you what to do.. but what's the worst that can happen?
Argh I hate it when people do this - I have accidentally ended up on 'dates' before because I didn't realise that 'grabbing some lunch' wasn't just... grabbing some lunch. And when you do twig that there's a possibility they are after more then it's always awkward to say anything without sounding presumptuous... because hey, perhaps is IS just lunch. I will be watching this thread for better ideas!
