So for the last few weeks I have been trying to find the opportunity to come out to one of my friends, a fellow classmate I have known for 3 years. He is in fact bi which he doesn't hide in the slightest, he often tries to tease guys in the class with it with mixed results. I even dare to say that he doesn't know how far he can go, but anyway. When he tries to tease me I often respond in kind, so also today. I was walking to my workbench when I found him standing next to it. After he noticed me he grabbed my hammer and started making a licking motion asking me if I liked him liking my hammer, my responce: You can lick mine, hoping he would catch the hint in my voice and stop bothering me with silly stuff. He then proceeds to move away from my workbench while I check my work for a second. At that moment I hear him telling in raised voice that I like men with big wood, which I was gonna respond with the phase: Yes I actually do, I'm gay, but then I saw him standing with a 3 meter piece of ash clamped between his legs and my thoughts whend abort mission. Clearly my distaste for his humor showed, because he stopped at that moment, but hell. Seriously! Either way I feel like I'm done trying to come out of the closet this week, maybe better luck next week.
Hey Bitbox, Coming Out casually or even humorously can be especially satisfying - particularly when you see the expression on the other person's face going from 'joking' to realizing that you're serious. Maybe a good way to Come Out to him would be to turn the tables on him. If he's joking around with you again at some point, you could act all serious and tell him to stop messing with you like that because if he's serious about 'getting it on' with you, you're all for it, but otherwise, stop being a dick-tease. Or, if he says something about you liking guys (or particular parts of guys), perhaps you could, again, act serious and say something like "O.K., Captain Obvious. So is there a point you're trying to make?" Or, if you wanted to be even more blatant about it, perhaps you could modify that to something like "O.K., Captain Obvious. So, is there a specific point you're trying to make about the fact that I'm gay? Or are you just making homophobic jokes for your own amusement?" I dunno. Just some thoughts.
Quantum, I never ment to tease him into thinking he could not get it on with me, I'm actually comfortable enough to be willing to have sex with him if he really ask for it. That being said, this was the first time he actually claimed I liked men in such a direct manner, more often then not he just claims I prefer something in a certain way and be done with it. Not saying that I'm not teasing him with that though. I think I'm gonna stick with a serious answer to what would be a joke though, coming out of the closet is already tricky enough. I'm not gonna make it any trickier any further. Besides he hasn't tried to 'get it on' besides some attempts at inviting me for a hug.
Hey Bitbox, No, I wasn't saying that you were teasing him. I was saying that you could consider misinterpreting his joking around about you liking guys and his talking about sucking your dick as teasing you and focus your "serious" response to his joking around that. If you track what I'm saying...
Quantum, Yeah sorry, It was a bit late and I guess I overreacted to the stop being a dick-tease part. Otherwise the message came across.
Hey Bitbox, No problem. Just be sure that you are comfortable with the idea of Coming Out rather than simply reacting to something that he does by Coming Out and then feeling regret later on for Coming Out at that point in time. Best of luck!
