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Crying in front of others

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by starmotive, Jan 16, 2020.

  1. starmotive

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    Has anyone ever cried in their doctor/therapist/psychiatrist's office? How did they react? How did you feel?

    If anyone is willing to give their two cents add appreciate it. Thanks
     
  2. quebec

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    starmotive.....When I came out for the first time it was to the guy who became my therapist. Tears?? It was like a waterfall. All of the pent up shame and guilt just burst out as I told someone for the first time in 41 years that I was gay. I'm not ashamed that I cried, I don't know how I could have avoided it. The tears were the beginning of my healing.
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
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  3. HM03

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    I HATE crying infront of others and basically have never have done it lol.

    Once or twice my voice got raspy and crackling, just short of crying in front of my therapist. It may seem kind of cold compared to what you're used to, but he was nice and professional about it. Embarrassing af for me though.

    If you're expecting a hug and to be told everything is going to be fine, you'll be disappointed. I But he basically said its helpful to know what is too painful to hold in, I can take a minute and offered kleenex. Then we resumed.
     
    #3 HM03, Jan 17, 2020
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2020
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  4. Mirko

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    It is an interesting topic. I am curious, how come your are asking?

    Thinking about my own experience, I have never cried in either my doctor's office or while visiting a counsellor during coming out - though I could feel the emotions congregating. I have though afterwards, once the gravity of what I had brought up sunk in.
     
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  5. Shorthaul

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    Honestly it was harder to talk about how lousy my anger management is than the fact I like women and men. I laugh about it now, but it was way easier to tell my counselor that I also like dick than it was to open up about the main reason I wanted to get counseling in the first place.
     
  6. Oliverrrrr

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    Yup. Cried infront of my Dr some years ago while asking for clinical help after a registrar told me i was too fit to need a hip replacement. Despair and pain will do that.

    And in front of my therapist a few weeks ago talking about how poor my sense of self was in regards to my sense of my dad's view of me, now deceased.

    I don't mind showing my tears in front of proffessionals, they're always ok with it,and always going to be sympathetic. I have one or two friends i've cried in front of too. It's great to have people around that are ok with emotions, and it's great to feel able to experience them with people. I recommended it!
     
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  7. Dreamsexul

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    I don't cry in front of others.
    Neither I nor they like it.
    In my limited experience, people (men, and especially women) quickly lose respect for a 'bloke' who cries.

    I save all my tears for when I'm alone, or with my lover.
     
  8. starmotive

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    I have teared up in front of both of my therapists before, but never in front of my doc. Very similar topics are talked about, and I feel at ease with my doctor, but I feel a certain sense of shame at the possibility that I tear up in front of my doc.

    Was just wondering whether crying was something that happens often in therapy and how health professionals deal with it.
     
  9. Mirko

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    Hi, I would think that it is more common than it may feel like. Speaking with counsellors, therapists often does bring out all kinds of emotions, and they are usually quite good at asking the difficult questions that either start poking at the difficult issues we want or perhaps need to work at, or go right to the heart of it.

    Doctors can be more matter of fact and the way they approach an issue, or ask a question, could have something to do with it. In my experience, I have found doctors don't really listen to the feelings, emotions - they do, but it is done differently than by therapists. Related, I think it also goes back to as to how we walk into a doctor's office and what we perceive their roles to be as well as how we think about their aims.

    Plus, and depending on the issue, it could also be related to how that issue is approached: is it a focus on the issue itself, or is the focus on the self. If the focus is on the self, this is where shame comes in.
     
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  10. Chip

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    In many medical schools, doctors say that they 'have the empathy beaten out of them'. Of course... many remain deeply empathic, and schools have modified how they teach so that there is more focus on the empathic connection with the patient than was taught 30-40 years ago. Doctors have to have a higher level of disconnection because unlike therapists, they are responsible for life-or-death decisions on a daily basis, and are often in the position of telling someone there's no practical path to getting well.

    Therapists, on the other hand, are trained to attune with the client, and a good therapist is trained to connect at a deep state of empathy with the client, so the client's ability to feel and express emotions can and should be greater with a therapist than with a physician.
     
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  11. Chizu

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    I've cried in front of my therapist, psychiatrist, Psyche NP, group therapy, college counselors, some crisis service girl who ambushed me after I was forced to see her, several college professors, all of my classmates who I was locked in a room with during a shooting threat, random strangers who caught me in the streets, my ex, and ... every person in my entire town when my dad died.
    So, um, I don't know. I usually try to be stern, emotionless, and detached, and look at what that got me. You might as well just let it all out in therapy so you don't bottle it all up until the cork blows off.
     
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  12. Batman

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    I was never able to cry in front of others until a therapy session last summer when a bunch of repressed shit came out. My therapist was being very sweet and comforting as when I started to lose it, but feeling like she was babying/coddling me made so extremely angry that I lashed out at her.

    The next time I was in an emotionally vulnerable spot with her, she adapted her approach to talking to me in a very clinical and fact-driven way that helped me work through it. She was really great, and I'm very appreciative for the way she took the time to learn how to handle me. I'm sad I don't live close to her any more.
     
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  13. starmotive

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    Thanks for the replies guys! It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who goes through stuff like that, you know?