Hi all, So I have very recently been dealing with my feelings and problems with my sexuality (I am 23). Up until about two months ago, I have pretty much always identified as straight (with the thought in my head that no one is 100% one orientation or another). But a few months ago I was on a date with a guy, and he kept trying to hold my hand and touch me (very innocently) and it made me uncomfortable. It was in that moment that I realized that I think I am bisexual. I am definitely attracted to both men and women, but some bad experiences with men have made me shy away from them. Realizing and accepting myself as a bisexual has not been easy. I have spent a lot of time recently trying to process my feelings and emotions about everything (scary!). I have to say, although it has been difficult, I feel as though a weight has been lifted. I have talked to a few very close friends about it, and they have all been supportive. Right now I am struggling with the idea of actually dating someone. While in theory, I have just widened my potential dating pool, I feel very alone and even more so like I will never date. Right now, I feel like I need to be in a relationship with a woman. Anyways, on to my dilemma. I new girl started at my job, and for me it was like instant attraction. I will say this is the first girl that I have allowed myself to feel this way about. I have no idea if she is straight, gay or in-between, but I feel there is something between us. My gut feeling is that she is a lesbian, but she is gorgeous and likely out of my league. So basically, this is my first girl crush and it's kind of fun to just think about. Dating between co-workers is very much so frowned upon at my job, but there are a lot of different reasons why there is almost no possibility anything will ever happen. I would really like to have this person as a friend though, especially if she is gay. I have no gay friends to talk to right now, and I feel that I need that. Right now in my life I am going between feelings of relief and sheer terror, everything feels out of control. Obviously none of us choose our orientation, but is it harder to be bisexual than just gay? I feel that people are more accepting of people who come out of the closet as gay, rather than bisexual. So, that went off on a few random tangents and I apologize about that. So to wrap it up, I am crushing on a girl at work who is beautiful and amazing and may or may not be gay, I am relieved but more confused and lonely than ever, and I am clearly not communicating my feelings well. Does this feeling of loneliness get better?
Do you have any legit work reason to talk to her? Do your paths cross? You could ask if she knows a good coffe place or if there's a post office around where you work. Something boring and innocent/friendly just to "introduce" yourself in an effort to become friends. I think we all over-think things. Just be friendly and see if she is also friendly. Cut your nails off and get talking.
Our paths definitely cross, we have already met and made small talk. There was just something about the way that we looked at each other. This is the first time I have EVER let myself feel this way about a girl. We definitely have a ton in common, except for the fact that she just mentioned her boyfriend. It's cool though, I could always use another friend. I am feeling a little lost though. How am I ever going to meet someone who is ok with who I am? None of my co-workers know and I feel that I will be judged if they do. Has anyone here found that it is harder to find someone when you are bisexual?
