I know I need to move on (and I eventually will), but it’s hard for me to do right now. Yesterday it came up that the guy I’ve had a massive crush on for months has a girlfriend. Where did this girlfriend come from? I’m not sure because he never mentioned it to me when we were working together over the summer. Either way, it’s clear that he’s uninterested in me if he’s already in a relationship. I’m not really mad at him. I’m more mad at myself. I let myself get caught up in cheesy romantic fantasies about this guy for months. I should have realized he was uninterested from the start but I was spending so much time with him during work that I couldn’t help but develop a crush on him. He’s an extremely smart guy and that tends to be my weakness. I know it seems like a bit of an overreaction to write a long post about a crush, but it’s killed my confidence. I was really close to asking him out but now I’m back to having social anxiety.
Hey @Ten , Don't beat yourself up over this. Strong emotions, especially ones like love and infatuation, can make up blind to the clues (little and big) that we would almost recognize in any given situation if we looked at it from an objective point of view. However, when you are crushing on someone, you cannnot, by definition, be objective. You are personally involved and generally see what you want to see/how you want things to be and miss/ignore the signs that contradict what you want to see/how you want things to be. Clearly, you like this guy as a friend and it would seem that he equally enjoys your company - as a friend. I would suggest that you should take this as a lesson-learned and just move on. (Although it may take a while.) I would also suggest that you be cautious and not hastily burn your friendship with him simply because he didn't return your romantic feelings or live up to your fantasies. If you were hanging out with him for reasons other than your crush on him (such as common interests, the fact that he is fun to be around, etc), focus on those aspects of your relationship with him when you are around him in the future. Just my 2cents.
