Hello, I'm out to family (and joined a Gay Men's Chorus only to leave in fear for being outted as a bottom and then sexualized in rehearsal) and they are supportive in wanting me to be happy. My family supports trump without questioning him. I find myself struggling with coming out to people at work. My job involves working with clients who suffer brain injuries. My director says it may not be safe to be out to them. I find myself extremely fearful being around my clients family and one of my clients in particular. My Director is an out Lesbian married but finds no need to share it. I feel this fear consume me when I'm out with my client because I'm hiding everything while I'm with him and even with the community at large. I've suffered through trauma growing up from family and haven't felt safe even in gay spaces. I've also experienced sexual assault from a closeted gay male and a gay doctor, whose doctoral license has recently been revoked due to an ongoing investigation of sexual misconduct. I'm even embarrassed to look at men. I feel depression mixed with anxiety and occasionally hate towards myself for being gay, for not coming out, and in some cases for allowing people to be homophobic around me. Does someone have any advice for me?
Don't live in the past, it is dead and gone. I don't think you need to tell your clients anything about your sexual orientation. That is personal and unprofessional as well. So your family likes trump? Oh well, there are worse things in life. You seem like you need to be more confident, and that's okay because I do too. Do not hate yourself, you are a good person. Being gay is something you just are and there is nothing wrong with that. I did not come out until later in life. You come out when you want to. Don't worry about what people think about you. You should try talking to a doctor about the depression and anxiety if you think it's a problem. You need to be happy and that comes from inside you. You decide if you're going to be happy in life. Try and accept yourself as the person you are. You're doing okay, your alive you have a job! It's okay to look at other guys. You have to keep going, you can keep going. Live in the moment the past is gone don't worry about that. Today is a good day to have a good day. Hope I helped a little, good luck!!!
