Hi everyone I always remember liking girls but because of my catholic roots I believe I dismissed the actual meaning of what that meant. Fast forward I have been with a guy since senior year of high school (I'm 36 now) and have kids with him we have a date to get married next July. I am needing advice he has known I had an attraction to women but like most men I guess he just thought that was sexy. I just recently told him that I think I was just lesbian and that I was really wanting to cancel the wedding. I know it's my fault for having kids with him knowing I wasnt fully attracted to him but I do love him we have gone through a lot and he has been there for me. He wants to get married so the kids have a good foundation with 2 parents who live together. I dont want to ruin anyone's life. So I'm debating weather I just bury my feelings again and just continue what mess I got myself into or end it and try and start a new beginning. My children are still very young 1, 4, 5 any advice would be much appreciated thank you
Welcome to EC. It’s a decision that only you can make. I was in a similar situation, and after much worrying and doubting, decided to leave. It was not an easy decision and it took me a long time to get there. By leaving, you won’t necessarily ruin anyone’s life. If you stay, you run the risk of resentment building up, which won’t be a pleasant environment or a good example for your children. It is possible to co-parent well with the parents in separate households. If you stay, you will also be committing yourself to (what I assume) is unfulfilling relationship. Both your husband and yourself will also be denying yourselves to opportunity to find people that you are truly compatible with. It a tough situation, but not that uncommon, so you’re not alone. Be kinder to yourself. You’re not at fault. You didn’t intend for this to happen.
