Corrupt A Wish

Granted, but you never figure out how to land.

I wish my dishes would clean themselves.

 

Granted, but only 2 feet off the ground.

I wish I could time travel

 

Granted, but only five seconds back and if you see yourself, you die.

I wish my brother would GET OFF MY FOOT, IT HAS A CUT ON IT AND IT HURTS WHEN YOU DO THAT!!!

 

Granted, your brother is now on top of your head, hurting your head and neck but making you ignore the cut on your foot

I wish I could apply eyeliner better on my left eye.

 

I can live with that. He stands on me and yells that he's the king of the world. Have I mentioned how annoying two year olds can be?

Granted, but only because it is as big as a basketball.


I wish the cut on my foot would frickin heal already.

 

Ah the terrible twos. I feel your pain, my younger siblings were really horrible then (*hug*)

Granted, the cut heals on your foot but your foot is permanently itchy now (lame I know, lol)

I wish I could hit all of Mariah Carey's whistle notes.

 

Granted but the Police are called out every time.


I wish I sell could hash cakes at the local school fete.

 

Granted...they're still not legal...busted

I wish my summer exit interview were over.

 

Granted .. but there will be other surveys to do ..

I wish I get my dream job soon.

 

Granted. You have your dream job which ends each time you awake.


I wish I could turn into a cloud.

 

Granted, but you only expel acid rain.

I wish I could have sex with Scarlett Johansson's character in Lost in Translation, even though it's a terrible movie.

 

Granted, but the sex gets lost in translation, and ends up with you having to scrub her floors while playing the trombone, instead, and for no good reason.

I wish a huge snowstorm would hit the whole country, this July, dumping 10 feet of snow over each and every state.

 

granted but it only lasts ten second and is replaces with sunshine and cool 70 degree waether
i wish i could change my gender whenever i want

 

Granted! But each time you change it, it only lasts 10 seconds, then you have to change it back again. (Now wherever did I get this idea? =p)

I wish I could be reincarnated as a fox.

 

granted but when you reincarnate its the wild faze of fox hunting and you are killed by a rabbid fox hunter
i wish that i had an endless supply of ramen noodles and cheese

 

Granted. But you have no access to water, or refrigeration, thus, you must eat the noodles dry, and the cheese soils. And, you also dehydrate.

I wish everyone had to dress like Darth Vader every Friday, all day.

 

Granted, but everyone changes Darth Vader stuff to make it look "sexy", but it ends up creepy.

I wish I never have a migraine ever again.

 

granted, but you will now forever have to live with lice and crabs.
i wish i could marry katy perry and leonardo dicaprio.

 

Granted, but Katy Perry and Leonardo Dicaprio are constantly fighting over you every day.

I wish that I had rainbow hair.

 

Wish granted, but every time there is a real rainbow anywhere in the whole world, your hair will disappear.
I wish I could do anything I wanted.