Corrupt A Wish

Granted. I don't have the heart to corrupt that.

I wish I could finally be in a show without the people who constantly overshadow me.

 

Granted, you are finely the star attraction, but now you have to deal with mobs of tyrannical fans who are obsessed with getting a piece of you.





I wish I wasn't so absolutely scrumdillyumptious

 

Granted! Instead you taste (and smell) like a Durian fruit.

I wish I lived in a gated, traditional Japanese house surrounded by beautiful gardens in Tokyo, Japan.

 

Granted, but it's a toy model...you've been shrunken by Japanese witchcraft and have to live in a glass jar, in a toy house the rest of your life.



I wish I could control the weather.

 

Granted! But you're not very good at it, and cause global temperatures to climb by 100 degrees in one day, causing global catastrophe. And a 190 degree day in Texas...

I wish Mr. Sparkles had a frizzy home perm.

 

190 degree day in Texas???
Really? That cold???????


Granted, but you would have had to have seen me in the 1980's.




I wish I had something to do today

 

Granted, but you have to do it everyday, whether you like it or not.

I wish I had the money to buy a new laptop.

 

Granted, but it's only enough for a used laptop (new to you), that has tons of viruses in it, so it never works right and "eats all your homework".



I wish everything always went my way.

 

Granted, but the sudden awesomeness causes a rift in the fabric of time and we cease to exist.

I wish time was controllable.

 

Granted, but you'll never meet the Doctor

I wish I could buy a monkey keychain

 

Granted.......you get one from The Omnipotent Mister Sparkles as a gift, so you don't have to spend your own money.

(yeah, I know thats not corrupted, but what the hey....)




I wish I could ride a tornado.

 

Garanted, but you will lost it!

I wish have super powers

 

Granted, but they only work when you sneeze.




I wish Mermaids were real.

 

Granted! They're real, and also very mean, bossy and pedantic. And due to a sudden change in Earth's atmosphere, they also rule a planet that is 99.99% water, and demand that Mr. Sparkles obeys their every whim.

I wish I was an Orca Whale.

 

Granted, now Orca is a fine delicacy in China and Japan, and you are hunted to extinction for three inches of your flesh.



I wish I was like Dr. Doolittle, I could really talk to animals.

 

Granted but your a black male in America (I'm sure you can figure out what happens next)

I wish could listen to music all day

 

That doesn't make any sense, but okaaaaaaaaayyy....


Granted, your brain picks up airwaves of music playing polka where ever you go, 24/7 and you can't do anything about it.



I wish I was back in the 70's so I could start my adult life all over again.

 

Granted but your body will never age and you'll be stuck in the 70s


I wish I could talk to the male gender properly

 

Granted, but all the men in the world instantly turn into women

I wish I had Bumble Bee from Transformers.

 

Granted, but is actually the size of a bumble bee and gets smashed in a car grill when flies too low to the road.



I wish losing weight was easy.