Corrupt A Wish

Granted... you can make it change color and shape at will, but someone notices, and you get kidnapped by a group of amoral scientists who want to run experiments on you.

I wish I had some nail clippers that aren't broken.

 

Granted. However, you clip your nails too short, and they start bleeding.

I wish my bust were bigger

 

Granted. However, you can't find a bra to fit anywhere.

I wish my bedroom could tidy itself.

 

Granted, but it no longer lets you in since you mess it up.

I wish I knew the meaning of life.

 

Granted, but the truth just depresses you

I wish I had better internet

 

Granted. But it's so good, that it takes control of your computer, and it turns evil and kills you.

I wish I was too amazing to be corrupted in any way

 

Granted, you are now made of solid gold, the most chemically incorruptible element on earth.

I wish I was done packing already...

 

Granted. But you can't close your luggage.

I wish I could change size at my will.

 

Granted, but whenever you do, people will want to test on you

I wish I knew who I was for definate

 

Granted, but the truth makes you suicidal.

I wish I had a job I liked

 

Granted but now your life sucks three fold.

I wish my sinuses weren't congested.

 

Granted, your sinuses are no longer congested, it's moved to your inner ears.

I wish I didn't have to go outside on a day like today...

 

Granted, now every "day like today" you are trapped indoors.

I wish My check came already.

 

Granted, but its in negative numbers.

I wish my cat would come over here and sleep next to me.

 

Granted but you awake with a "gift" under your chin.

I wish I could take the lead of others more often.

 

Granted, you become corrupted by power, and start seeking more of it. Eventually, you become a dictator, and a revolution brings you down. You are captured, tried, and found guilty of crimes against humanity. You will spend the rest of your life in solitary confinement in a UN prison.

I wish I didn't wake up with a gift under my chin.

 

Granted, but your chin is gone as well.

I wish I would trust myself more.

 

Granted, you trust yourself so much that you jump of a building expecting to be able to fly.

I wish I had more facial hair

 

Granted, but your facial hair covers up your whole face.

I wish I lived in a big city

 

Granted, you now live in the lost, big city of Atlantis.

I wish I was a "higher-being."