I’d like to be as brief as possible with this, as to not make it too long to read. I’m 17, male, and when I was 12 I came out to friends that I was bi. Immediately after this I knew it was an impulse decision due to puberty, and that it was most definitely a phase. I still get this brought up as a laughing point amongst friends today. Up until a couple of weeks ago, I knew I was straight. I have not had sex with either gender, but have experimented to similar levels with both, slightly more so with women. I dated a male for about two months, but found it too weird and broke it off. I’ve had about three heterosexual relationships between then and now (over the course of maybe 4 years). Sometimes I will watch gay porn, but afterwards regret doing so; I do not regret watching straight or lesbian porn after finishing, so this was cause to believe I was straight. I cannot imagine a future in which I date or marry a man, and this is where it gets confusing. As I am 17, i’m expecting that my sexual orientation should become clear very soon. I have a few questions that need answering: Does it make you gay to be turned on, but then almost disgusted by after finishing, gay porn? Does anal masturbation mean you are gay? Is it okay to be scared of the possibility of being gay? I don’t particularly want to be gay. Not because I have a problem with gay people, just that I can’t imagine it at this age or any other, and if I am it would put a complete spin on my life as I know that i’d like to start a family of my own. I keep picturing waking up next to a wife or husband and am 100% more inclined to be waking up to a wife. I’m just scared to be honest, advise would be highly appreciated
Hey, you were beaten badly when you came out, nobody wants a reaction like that, and I would imagine it could affect you, all these years later. I’m bisexual and I have a family. I’ve been to adoption hearings to support lesbian and gay couples, and they have families. Another couple I know is two women who have kids they gave birth to — they are a family. The masturbation, how you do it, isn’t what makes anyone gay, straight or bisexual. Orientation is built in. It is who you imagine while doing it that helps tell you what you are naturally open to as far as your orientation.
