Heres my story ( i hope this is posted in the right place)...... (i use ... alot if you didnt notice!). Since 6th grade ive had a crush on a guy. i admitted to myself in 8th grade that i truely loved him. we were sorta friends, but nothing happened and we drifted apart. anyway, ive always liked guys, but im shy and the small town i was in is homophobic and my parents are very anti-homosexual My senior year in high school i dated a girl because she liked me (id never actually dated before) and she had had an abusive boyfriend before and i thought maybe by dating her that she would see that guys aren't all jerks. after 6 months, we got intimate, but i didnt like it that much and i told her so. we separated on good terms and are still friends however, while i find girls pretty and cute!, i find guys sexually attractive. i guess im bi, but im not sure. really im confused! like i said im shy and i am afraid to just talk to people i find attractive because they might find me weird or something. the farthest ive gotten with a guy is making out (which i started because i liked him and i has uninhibited by lack of food and sleep and had alot of caffiene!). IM JUST SO CONFUSED! I act kinda snobbish because i dont want to get hurt and dont feel uncomfortable meeting new people randomly and i dont act like a stereotypical gay man. i find it hard to connect to people i guess....... sorry if this is a rant kinda, but i wanted to express how i feel. only a couple friends, a close cousin and my roommate know im gay. No one else knows, though they ma suspect. i dont know if i should bring it up or how to interact socially iguess. kinda confused on if i should look for others near here that are like me and how to find them or if i should let it go and just pretend that im not lonely here.......thanks.
Hi wleocme to EC:icon_bigg You dont have to keep it to yourself, just let it out so you can feel better, and I'm glad you did Well, you are not lonely when you join thsi forum , because there are many great peopl who can be your friends and can help you because soem of us are having teh same situation like you do It happens to me as well, I find girls pretty and cute, but I like gusy moer because they are sexually atractive to me, but to defind your real orientation, I think it depends on your romace, if you are gay then youa re able to fall in love with a guy rather than just enjoy physical needs And I am very shy and weird too, but dont worry about it, because that is how you are, and you have to be proud of yourself, dosent matter how you act, as long as you are a nice person who has great personalities. And dont care bout what people say And actually you are a great guy because you showed your girl taht guys are not as bad as she thought by being her friend You should do something to boost your self esteem so you can interact with more people:icon_bigg And I hope you feel happy and not lonely, when you feel sad, express your feelings on here
I can see where you are coming from. I've been burned by so many people that I can come across as rather snobbish just to avoid getting to really know them for fear of them being hurtful. For me, and I'm assuming that this can be true in your case as well, it has been a lack of self-esteem that has really hindered me from getting to know people. The best thing to do is to start being friendly to people in stages. A great thing that worked for me was getting to know friends of my friends. After a while I let my guard down, and it's helped me in other social situations when I go out to places and meet people. As far as letting people know that you are gay, that's your choice. Personally, it's the las thing I've started to let people know, only because I don't want to be defined by my sexuality. Sometimes people who aren't gay friendly might automatically assume that they don't like you because you are gay and won't give themselves a chance to get to know you. Instead, I would just hang out and get to know people. Straight people don't shake hands and say "Hi, I'm Joe. I'm straight." , right? Take the same approach. Once people become you friends then they usually don't care if your gay/straight/bi or whatever. If for some reason they do, then I believe they weren't truly your friends to begin with. Good luck with everything. JC
