I am a 17 year old girl who is gay. I play soccer at my high school and have a great coach and team, but there is one thing...the girls on my team are all really homophobic and me being a homosexual, I do not feel safe. They do not know I am gay but I do think that they suspect it. I don't stare or do anything different from the others but they always try to stay away from me whenever we are changing before or after a game or practice etc. They also whisper and gossip when I change. There is a rumor at school that I am gay so they all try to stay away from me. I am contemplating telling my coach what is happening. I know she will accept me, but I do not want it to be awkward between us. I do not want this to affect my playing time either even though I am a starter and play every minute of every game. On top of being my biology teacher, she is also my neighbor so I see her every single day all year even during travel season. My family and her and her husband usually go on vacations together also. How do I approach her on this subject? Should I have a private meeting with just the two of us to explain how this is affecting me? I really want to tell her since I know that on some occasions, this has affected my performance. I am still one of her best players (she has told me on numerous occasions) but sometimes my concentration and playing is off and she can tell. She's taken me aside after a couple games to ask if everything is alright and to tell me that her "door is always open" if I need someone to talk to. I've told her that I just had auditions for band coming up and that was the only thing I was stressing about. Another time I told her that I was "feeling a bit sick so I couldn't focus," when in reality it was the team harassing me. She seems really concerned and has asked if I have any personal issues or family problems that I needed to talk about and I just sheepishly shook my head. When she pulls me aside after a game or practice, the other girls on my team have seen this and all think that I am her favorite and continue to make remarks about me being a "gay little b*tch." Being close with my coach has helped me in so many ways as I spend a ton of time with her, both on and off the field. Everyday after practice or a game she drives me home since we are neighbors. During the 15–20 minute car ride home, we usually just chat, but recently she seems more concerned with my personal life. She has told me that I have been acting differently. My coach has asked if I was in a relationship with someone and has then proceeded to say, “You know I don't care if it is a special guy *or girl,* you can tell me anything. I hope you trust me because I definitely would trust you to keep any secret I have.” After this, she just looks at me with a really caring, yet concerned look. I usually just try to change the topic and look away or out the window. On the ride home from away games, which can be up to 2 hours, we have really deep conversations. She has told me things that she has never told anyone else. I feel like she is trying to get it out of me. She has also asked if there is something wrong with our team and I have told her that they don't like me. When she has asked why, I find myself not being able to get the three words out. I am getting the impression that she knows I am gay. I have known her since I was 5 and she has watched me grow up. I doubt that she would ever betray me. I just feel really bad lying to her and always trying to change the subject. She has said on numerous occasions that her door is always open if I need someone to talk to. I really do love my coach and it seems like she is the only person I can truly trust. Sorry this is so lengthy but I needed to ask someone. Thank you.
