Okay, I'm not exactly sure how to write this, but here it goes, hopefully it will make sense.. I've been thinking about my gender, A LOT lately, for about two years now.. And I'm terribly confused and its actually starting to stress me out. I first came about the term 'transgender' around the beginning of my 8th grade year, and I looked into it, but later denied the idea that I could be a transgender person, and dropped it. Then later, nearing the end of 8th grade I revisited the term, and again, looked into it, but I felt more strongly about it this time. And... now I'm in my 10th grade year, and I haven't been able to get the idea out of my head still.. I tried to talk to my mother about my situation but she laughed it off and told me it was just a phase, and that the media was influencing my opinion (though I don't have tv??) and that I would always be a female. I want to talk to people about it, but I have a very conservative family, all of them have more.. anti-LGBT views.. and it makes me feel like the greatest secrets of the Universe are weighing down on my shoulders and I can't tell a soul. I've been thinking about talking to my friends about it, but I'm worried about what they would think.. So, the million dollar question I guess is: Could this just be a phase? Does media influence my opinion? I honestly have no idea. I'm so frustrated, I wish someone or something could give me an answer set in stone so I could know; but, of course it's not nearly that simple is it... A reply would be greatly appreciated, sorry for making this a mile-long message.. >~< -Thank you
I don't think that media can influence anyone like that, we do have minds of our own. It's not like we see this and go 'oh hey, all the kids are doing it, why not?' I myself have always just remained more gender neutral than anything else, with a little more leaning to the male side of likes. But now I just think it was playing it safe, that if I'm constantly thinking about this, that I've had thoughts about this in the past, then it's "not just a phase". My family is accepting but still so far in denial they can see the pyramids. Thinking that I need to work on myself as a person first, and get a job, get more secure and I think it's a colossal waste of time, and its just another form of a distraction an maybe they think that if I do get a job and do all those things, this whole wanting to be a man thing will just go away. Been trying to make this whole thing go away for 25 years. Now it's stopped working. But the point is, that if even at a younger age you had these thoughts, then perhaps it's not just a passing thing and that you should explore yourself a lot more. Try being a boy in secret if you must, do whatever makes you feel the most comfortable is the most important thing. Even if its just binding chest or wearing more guy clothes or anything, you do you. Best of luck dude, hope this helps.
Hey, my story is very similar! I also found the term transgender when I was in 8th grade, and kind of tried ignoring it until about 10th grade. If there's anything I've learned since then, it's that you can't really deny who you are and be happy. I'm saying that now as a (proud, transgender) twenty something year old university student with a wife. Don't worry about this stuff maybe being a phase so much. You can't see into the future, who cares if it's a phase? What's real to you right now is real right now, and it's valid. Experience your life to the best of your ability and know that there will always be people will always love you no matter what.
I really don't think it has anything to do with the media. As far as a phase, I use to think it was when I was first really realizing it. Then, I just explored it more and soon knew that it wasn't. So, my suggestion is to explore to get your definite answer. But, the fact that said you've dealt with it since 8th grade, now in 10th, two year difference makes me believe chances are you are transgender. I would tell your mom that, when she says it's a phase that you have felt that way for two years.
I don't think media can make you feel something. The only thing media can do is open your mind to things you didn't realise could exist. Maybe you felt a certain way, couldn't put your finger on it because you didn't have the words, had only abstract feelings, but then the media put a name to how you felt? I knew the word 'lesbian' from a young age. When I started having feelings for a girl I immediately placed the label 'lesbian' on it. I knew the term 'transgender' from maybe 14, because of media. Felt some kind of tug toward it, but equally knew that wasn't me. I didn't come across the term 'gender fluid' until I was 19 (?!). As soon as I read about it I realised that it was describing how I felt. Before that point I hadn't been able to explain what was happening inside, but thanks to media I found a simple way of pinpointing my experiences. So no, media has not made you feel like you do. It has just given you information, and that information may have helped you understand more clearly how you feel, or at least begin the process
